find my faith

Instead of me waiting to hear from Him, I need to start talking to Him and then maybe He’ll eventually answer.

I think that I may give something up for Lent. I haven’t done that in over a decade, but it feels right.

Today I attended a non-denominational Christian church service. One of my friends that knows I have been struggling with faith issues invited me. I didn’t intend on going when I woke up this morning but I had an epiphany this morning. I realized that I can’t deal with all of my health, relationship and religious issues by myself any more and maybe its time for me to turn to God.

The service was more informal than any other church I have participated, but I really liked it. It also was superlarge… I think there were over 1,000 people there and it was one of three services. I think I may go back. We’ll see.

Today I attended an amazing funeral service. The preacher told a story about the deceased (D) that reminded me of myself and has inspired me.

D was known to constantly question and debate. He also did not fully embrace the doctrine of any particular denomination. However, he did believe that God is all-knowing and all-powerful. He also knew that despite all of his misgivings, God wanted to have a relationship with him. So, D questioned and argued and didn’t agree with much of the doctrine, but because he believed in basic key elements, he had a relationship with God.

This relates to me because for years I have been avoiding God. I have studied various religions and I don’t feel like I fit in. Instead of creating a relationship with Him, I avoid Him. I feel like He’ll be mad at me because I can’t choose. As I have struggled to “find my faith” for the past couple of years, I SHOULD have just embraced God, in the best way I can and the build a relationship with him and find a denomination after the fact.

That is what I now need to do!

Any advice on how to figure this out? Over the past 20 years I have taken several classes, talked to many and read tons of books. Yet at the moment I am at a standstill.

My faith is within myself. I think that I have found it. I just haven’t found how it fits into the rest of the world.

No tickets. No entry.