judge a little less and forgive a little more

“Grudges are a waste of happiness.
Laugh when you can,
Apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can’t change.”

i NEED to forgive them. this is emotionally wearing me down. i know what i have to do… but it seems almost near impossible. How do you forgive someone that has hurt you so deeply and doesn’t even realize it because they are so wrapped up in their own pain?

my favorite song lyrics “i can’t help you fix yourself, but at least i can say i tried, i’m sorry but i gotta move on with my own life.”

this is hard when you are surrounded by people who can’t do exactly this. They cannot forgive. And all they do is judge. At the same time I look at them and its like ok. That is how I do NOT want to be.

Last night the girl that had slept with my ex-boyfriend (not my ex at the time she slept with him) showed up at a party I was at and I was fuuuurious however I’ve decided that I’m just not going to care. I’m going to forgive her silently and stop giving her death stares. Besides, its taking away from my good time and its water underneath the bridge.

I feel like if I could forgive my two best friends for everything they’ve put me through I would be a much happier person. This shall take time but I am determined to have forgiven them before I leave for VA again.

sometimes i find it hard to judge less and forgive more the people you’ve known forever because you feel like you know them so well and you’ve been through so much … that it just gets exhausting.

i constantly forgive my friends for the doing the same things over and over again but am i only hurting them and myself when i let them continue to do the same things?

Being on a girls lacrosse team i feel like i’m consumed by gossip. People pretending to best friends then going behind their backs and talking SO MUCH SHIT. And thats what i’m afraid of. fakeness. I hate to think that people are being fake to me. Fake being my friend.

And of course I feel guilty because I know that I do it too. Nice to someones face but then scowl at their backs. Its so hard to stop. But I know that if I want people to be real with me I need to be real with them. I need to stop judging people for their quirks because everyone has them and sometimes you may not know someones background, why they are the way they are.

So starting today I’m going to try to start accepting people for the way they are. Forget the bad and find the good.