heal my broken heart

I am so not brokenhearted over him anymore. I am still sad that things didn’t stay wonderful and awesome, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles sometimes, you know? I even saw him this weekend and didn’t have any feelings of panic or anxiety, I didn’t feel like I had a big hole in my heart, and I didn’t feel…well, brokenhearted anymore. It was great validation—I can’t believe how far I’ve come in such a short period of time! I think the biggest realization for me was that I was in love with the way things used to be with him, not the way things were more recently. And also, remembering that I’m just as awesome as I’ve ever been has helped too. :)

I thought I had to get over him before I could heal my broken heart. But I think I may actually check this one off first. I’m feeling a lot better, and I’ve had some time to remember all the reasons I’m a Superfox (with a capital “S”). I think my heart is healing very well. But I’m still not over him. I still wonder if he wants me back, what he’s thinking, what he’s doing, etc. That’s probably going to take some time….

I went to the park today at lunch to fight off the anxiety attack I’ve been having since last night. I didn’t need time to eat anyway since I have no appetite. I had my camera with me and ended up taking some photos, which ties in nicely with my other goal of taking more photos, right?

Anyway, if you’d like to see them, I’ve created a set on flickr.

After returning to my desk at work after sneaking off to the bathroom to cry, I decided to bump watching a Space Shuttle launch so I could add this to my list and ask for advice. I’ve never truly had my heart broken until now, and I don’t know what to do with it. It hurts like hell and I’m a walking mess. One of my girlfriends suggested finding someone to rebound date, but I don’t even have the energy for that. All I know is that I have to get over this or I’m going to be pretty messed up for a while. :(