Piscarius Poetry

_{when you are dancing amongst the clouds
bounding, leaping
I know that you are happy
safe from the things that hurt you
I cannot undo
the done things
I cannot undo them
you, the warmest, most comforting
soft pillow like soul
that can put me to slumber
by your presence
I miss you
If I could put you on this pedestal
and place a crown on your head
I would
and the breeze could just take us away
to that magical grassy open field
where we can bound and leap
I promise
when I remember you
I will remember the happiest of moments
whiskers brushing cheeks and soft purrs
that echo through my memory
when I held you
lastly
like a delicate flower
wilting in my arms
your peaceful spirit
rising to meet mine
I know how much I love you
I know how much I miss you}

_{For Beanie, the best friend I ever had
April 10, 2008}

_snowpea

_{when I close my eyes, I can see everything:
lakes, hills, and the battles won
by men much stronger than I am
Extending my hand out, hoping it will be touched
by familiarity
keeps me moving along quite nicely
at an acceptable pace
and soon enough I can see a face in the distance
your face
and when your lips part to meet mine
I just breathe in deeply and become a part of you
I like when we just lay on my bed
your fingers outlining the depths of my curves
and I’m just happy, being here with you}

_snowpea

_{sitting on the couch
feet bare
with chopsticks
grabbing sticky rice
watching spongebob squarepants
and not having to worry
about
bombs going off
in my front lawn
or rain dripping on my sheets
when things seem bad…
they really aren’t that bad.}

snowpea

_{Your likeness reflects in the puddles surrounding us
feelings seep into the walls
flooding the carpet and kitchen appliances
I know I love you
but fumbling for the right words
the right moment
just leaves me blabbering
reaching out into the air
feeling for movement and warmth
if I move slow enough, I can see how your
shape floats in the opposite direction from me
inching farther away
making the darkness grow:
you aren’t gone, but could be soon.
when I look through the glass I see
scattered pillows stained with mascara
from the endless nights
that echo the sound of
tears hitting the floor.}

(tell him!)

_Stardust

art by Sushma Sabnis

_{look into the puddle created by the tears
from the sky
crying over all those men that
left her breathless…
look into the past miracles
that saved someone’s life, most likely
mine and yours at the same time
we touch we turn away
if there is a path
and it is opposite of you
my soft, pink heart pumps faster
and the breaths I take become shorter
I can’t say I regret anything
and you I can’t say I love you
someday, maybe I will be stronger
not scarred over and over so I can’t
feel anything
your patient touch,
firmly grasping my soul
wrapping it’s legs around your torso
and I feel surrounded, perfectly supported
not suffocated
you are my muse, my beacon}

_snowpea

_{coming up to the surface
I can detach my fins and fly away
up into the cloud castles
that we like to build
When I yearn to touch
I look in your direction and I feel
completely awakened, showered
with glances that make me melt
into liquidy skin
safe, connected
that’s how I feel
but I also feel free, free to go where I may
I won’t stay for long
just enough to let the nymphs
dance their pretty heads around
our table while we watch
I’m amazed at how you detach
and reattach yourself
almost instantly we can find
eachother in the darkest corners of the world
This is my song to you
when you tower over me and put your
hands on my cheekbones
and kiss my lips
I feel exactly how I want to feel}

_snowpea

_{Let me be your Argive girl
Let me show you how I love
I will swim across the Ionian Sea
I will hold my breath for you
someday the air may become less thick
and our eyes may glance in the same
direction
your melted heart has spilled onto mine
and our feet will caress sheets
wine spilled on satin
I know it’s just a dream
a fantasy
but the moon brings light
in the darkest of places
and I am forced to wander
wander until I find rest
until I find you, waiting by
the olive tree}

_snowpea

_{I heard he was in town
making the rounds and high- fiving
the ignorant ones
my chest got a little hot
and I could feel tiny beads of sweat
roll down my brow
an explanation that there’s
still something there
whether it is glacial
or slightly inconclusive
My skin is the only honest one
in the room
a rosy pink hued canvas
that exposes my inner most, deepest
personal thoughts
and it’s all laid out on the table
bare, naked…I might as well be
Truth and Honesty
and his heart is a pretty dark place
where only the lucky ones
get to venture
and I’m left standing outside
peeking in
hoping that someday
I will walk right through him}

_{-snow pea}

^{Begin at the end
like a paper cut
from an envelope never opened
like a kiss never initiated
after passionate glances across the room
when you turn out your pockets
nothing falls to the floor
no echo of keys, loose change
just silence
and the mirrors reflect images
that aren’t there
blankets, window blinds, endless cups of coffee-
they all just mask what’s
really at stake
what you are really losing
what you fear of facing
and why it all happens like this
all at once, like a train derailing
with empty cars that fall silently
through the depths of mountains
pummeling through trees
erasing what was there
so it can all grow back again}

^stardust

^{I thought I knew him, them
I thought I knew all of them
I thought I was safe, protected from all the negativity
that seems to come with relationships
collecting all of the pieces torn apart
by my frustrated hands after hanging up
with you, with them, with all of you
I have tallied on my wall
to count the shattering sounds that
pierce the night air
So I guess I’m a little numbed by it all
I know I’m not safe, protected from all the negativity
that seems to come with relating
to them/you on a personal level
Giving in/ giving up/getting bored/impatience...it really doesn’t matter
them, you, all of them
it’s all gone, faded, unappreciated
but hey
maybe I’ll get that once a year connection
relasping right back to where we/you/us were
left off
and there you/them will go
gone as quickly as you arrived.}

^stardust