stop getting in car accidents

I’m almost afraid to mark this as “done” but it’s been several months without any sort of vehicular casuality. This is likely due to my cap on road time, thanks to my car’s broken CD player and the fact that I can only stomach one Phil Collins song per day. This will soon change as I’ll be forced to drive all over the place again. Maybe I’ll have to reopen it, although I hope not. I like living.

But I successfully completed a game of cellphone solitaire today while driving.

...at least this year.

No one ever likes getting into my car and if they do, they regret it. I’m impatient and I drive fast everywhere, weather permitting. If I stop posting stuff here, I’m dead.

My driving record last year included:

Accident #1: Run in with a concrete column in the parking deck of the Intercontinental Hotel. $1,800 damage.

Accident #2: Steering goes on I-75 after idiots who fixed last accident forgot to locate a key crack in the rack. $1,200 damage

Accident #3: Old woman doped up on Novocain and God knows what else slams into me on a highway while leaving dentist. $1,700 damage.

Accident #4: Downtown, swiped the side of a Mercedes. Little to no damage but Progressive loves me.

I enjoy driving, but I don’t want to spend or lose my life in the car.