stop complaining

This morale meter-thing is nifty but looking at my week, it looks like I’m a little on the low side.

I think I’d feel better, if only for immediate gratification, if I could tell a couple people in my life to fuck off. Unfortunately, common sense and years of mental beatings (a.k.a. brainwashing) by authority figures tells me I should not do this.

So, since I am unable to satiate my frustration by the preferred method, I’ll just complain to others. What else can I do?

A coworker told me the other day: “Complaining is like a rocking chair. It’s good to pass the time but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

I haven’t done poop with this goal. When I posted that last entry, I took the bracelet off a few days later because I felt the need to complain about something and I obviously have no restraint.

What the eff is wrong with me? What will it take for me to finish the things that I start? Maybe I need someone to threaten me with beatings or worse, take my soda away. Um, then I would really complain.

There it was on my doormat, a package containing three purple bracelets from Complaint Free World.

I had been feeling a mix of dread and anticipation at their arrival. Would I ever be able to take it off?

I had ordered them five months ago after watching the pastor of a little church in Missouri talk to Oprah about how influential the bracelets were in encouraging a more positive congregation.

So for 21 days I will wear the bracelet and if I start complaining or criticizing anything, I must switch it to the opposite arm and start over. Yes, I need a piece of rubber to inspire me but no one said I was perfect.

Today I tried hard to pay attention to what I was expressing to make sure that it was not negative. In doing so, it highlighted how much other people complain without realizing it.

I gave one to my mother tonight while I was at her house for dinner. She sat there fiddling with it, unsure.

“Now what I am supposed to talk about?” she said. “I can’t say anything.”

For the next few minutes, she continued to complain about not being able to complain and I suggested taking back the bracelet.

She thought for a minute.

“No, it’s mine,” she said. “I’ll do it.”

So we agreed that we can find other things to talk about without bitching. Not only does it make for a more interesting conversation, but it doesn’t leave us feeling gloomy, worried or annoyed … you can’t complain about that.