Next weekend I’m moving back in with my father, for approximately six months (approximation is current and speculative), to get things back on track emotionally. I would have moved out earlier this week, but my mother reminded me to give two weeks’ notice at the job. My husband and I have been fighting more frequently and more viciously lately and I think we just need some time apart, paired with some marital counseling, to get a better grip on what we’re doing to ourselves and to each other with this marriage. Maybe our differences really are irreconcilable; they certainly seem that way to me right now, but I know that marriage means true commitment and I don’t want to just be a weasel.
I’m feeling very sad right now. My husband definitely does not want me to go and is doing everything short of standing on his head to convince me to stay. This of course brings up lots of memories of the good times, the aspects of the marriage worth savoring (and it does have some… otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten into it in the first place!) and just leaves me feeling really guilty in general. It’s not a fun time to be me.
