Be uncompromisingly true to myself

I’ve been fighting alot with my feelings lately. I’m married, but my wife is so open with our relationship; it drives me insane. I read somewhere that it’s easier to fall in love than to stay in love with someone. I think it’s true.

I think, or maybe I know I’ve fallen for my best friend already. & It kills me to know I can’t pursue anything with her; even if I was able to I don’t know if it’d still be easy to stay in love with her either – which is why I won’t try to risk it. The only thing I guess I can have is this harmless flirting with her – & these small moments where she tells me she wants no one else but me – & I can live off that forever. I don’t think this has anything to do with being true to myself? But I needed to write this..

It’s hard to be when – that person – no one likes. So it’s like I have to choose to live this false identity/personality that I have.