change my name

Today I got a name badge/pass card for work.

I’ve been holding back with this one ‘cause I really don’t want any financial screwups just now, however the staff at the bank told me not to worry and it should be ok – ie I get my bonuses and wages paid in under my old name. I decided to trust them – I can’t hang about forever on this. So we’ll see.

I just got my P45 addressed to my new name today, I don’t know if my new employer needs it now as we filled out the alternate forms I’ll try and find out tomorrow, or friday perhaps, or next week.

It went pretty well, very relieved to hear laughter instead of crying. I think she’ll need some time to get used to the whole thing but I’m confident she will come around now.

The DWP has my correct name on file now. I don’t know how, I didn’t tell them – obviously no paperwork required.

I should be getting my doctors letter tomorrow to confirm that my gender change is expected to be permenant. I need this to sort out the inland revenue, and possibly my passport.

I’m holding off on the driving licence until my car is confirmed scrapped just to avoid any confusion.

Spoke to Mortgage provider, I just need to write in – I must do this next week, along with my main bank and credit cards. this will eventually update my credit rating. I’m not expecting any issues with the banks – which probably means this is where I’ll hit some problems!

From next week I’ll be employed under my new name, the agency handled it very well with no issues whatsoever.

There’s still a lot to get changed, but I’m focused on getting the financial and tax stuff sorted out first. I’ll probably try and get a new passport and my driving licence in january now.

Finally, this is the hardest bit, I really need to tell my mum now. I chickened out last week, and the week before. So it has to be this weekend. I really cant think of any easy way to break the news to her. I think I need to just come out with the essential fact of it, then tell her about the job. Last week she told me I didn’t want to become a nomad when I told her that I did! I expect this will be similar.

I found a form on the web for just this purpose. I’ve got to have it notarised by a Notary, so I called up my solicitor and he’s going to do it for me tomorrow, for a bottle of wine!

I was at the job brokers today, and I’m absolutely thrilled that they kept calling me Emma! This is really helping me get used to it :)

It still all seems vaguely unreal – but perhaps this is just the easy part.

I’m finding it a little tricky adjusting to using my new name!

A week after telling my GP I got a new medical card in the post! Then I got a letter from the health authority asking if I want to change the rest of my details, I assume this means so I can get invited for breast exams and cervical smears. I’ve put that on the back boiler as not urgent at this time, and I shall consult with my doctors about what I should do.

So far things are going well with no negative feedback, and more importantly since I’m now stepping over the line of androgyny, I seem to be getting less second glances in public than I do in ‘boy’ mode. I’m also experiencing the same levels of anxiety whenever I do go out, but that is improving the more I do.

So with the NHS now having my new name, I’ve been putting off calling up for my repeat prescription, and I also need a new sick line. The last thing I wanted was to have to explain who I was, and I’m also worried about what I sound like. But no, it turns out the last thing I want is to come of my medication, the citalopram has been working wonders for me, and I really didn’t know how sick I was. So anyway, that’s sorted out now – of course they have changed my name so I have to use it now! duh – funny how I can reason about stuff when it’s not number one on my priority list, but I guess it’s an improvement.

I think I’ll have to go into town and get accosted by charity fundraisers for a few weeks to get used to giving my new name to strangers.

Oh and another thing, I need to practice a new signature as well!

The silence of friends.

Since I’m on income and support allowance I’m getting some help to find a job, I met my adviser today and we agreed it would be better to use my new name from the start. So I filled my first ‘official’ form in as Emma today. I had to go back through it to change my signature in various places afterwards. This is going to take a bit of getting used to!

It’s still largely unofficial, so I think I need to get that sorted out next. let me see: Counselor, GP, Jobsearch people, some friends – all told. Shrink, DWP, Inland Revenue, Council tax, banks, utilities, driving license, passport ugh I think this list is never ending… still to do. I need the statutary declaration and doctors letter for most of these though. The stuff to do with getting a job is most important, hopefully things will go a lot smoother if I’ve got everything in place before then.

I’m planning on officially changing my name to Emma over the next couple of months.

Apart from it just being more practical having a female name, and the fact that I’ve already procrastinated over it for far too long, It seems that I’ll need some official paperwork to change my name and gender with the Department of Work and Pensions and Inland Revenue, as well as my passport – although that’s not my biggest priority just now.

There’s not too much to it. I’ll need a noterised change of name letter saying that I’m forever and irrevocably renouncing my former (male) name – which might be a problem if I don’t carry through with this ;) and some kind of letter from the shrink or possibly another doctor? I don’t know if he’ll do this – but as it’s going to be difficult to actually get a job as a woman if I’ve not changed my name properly I think he’d better. In any case I’ll need the noterised form first so then it will be too late. I’m sure it will all work out.

Tomorrow I should be getting an appointment with someone who is going to help me look for work and I think it will be better to start off as I mean to go on, so hopefully it’ll be only one or two more trips to the jobcenter in guy mode.

I’m thinking of Louise for a middle name.