Give Gemmword lots of love and hugs

...to give gemmword lots of love and hugs.

Since the latest series of crises seems to be behind us – thanks in no small part to the valiant John – and gemm is back on 43T, I’ve decided to mark it Done for now.

With any luck, I’ll never need to resurrect it as an active goal again. If necessary, though, I will.

Isobel has a stomach flu and has therefore not been able to provide much in the way of updates. I naturally told her to save her strength for looking after herself and Gemm.

The short version: yesterday Gemm woke a few times and managed several more sips of water (albeit with some difficulty). The “wee fox” stopped in again, came well into the room, and gazed at Gemm for ages. That was evidently one of the times she woke up. Isobel does think that the bruised leg is bothering her, because she keeps moving it around restlessly. Considering that for a few days, she was only “still and silent,” and her breathing was so quiet that Isobel had to lean close to be sure she was breathing, I am still taking the increased activity as a potentially good sign.

An understandably brief “no change” message came in around 9 a.m. EDT, but that’s been all so far today.

The good news: Isobel messaged me that Gemmword had opened her eyes twice so far today, and took a sip of water. Her eyes didn’t focus, and she didn’t speak, but at least she swallowed. According to Gemm’s own notes, swallowing is a very good sign.

The maybe-good news: Isobel thinks that what work Gemm up this time was pain. The pain isn’t new: it’s been with Gemm for quite a while, evidently, from a biopsy and a bone fracture that never healed properly. But until today, she wasn’t showing any signs of feeling the usual pain in that leg. Although of course nobody wants her to be in pain, her notes say that “deep pain response is the last to go [when a person goes into a coma] and the first to come back.”

Not so many animals around so far today, except for seagulls early. But then apparently the street was full of noise and busy-ness for a while – “wheelie bins, post men,” said Isobel – so maybe they’ll come around later when it’s quieter.

I told Isobel how Unc was wondering if Gemm might have been the prototype for the sort of Disney character who relates to the animal world in extraordinary ways. Isobel was charmed: “like snow white or something,” she replied. As she was signing off, she added, “i must tell her about snow white, she’ll think that’s very funny.”

Your faithful reporter is off to an after-work dinner and meeting that may extend past her usual bedtime. If I don’t post later, it’s either because there’s no news or because I ran out of steam before I could check for and then re-post it.

I got an offline message from Gemmword’s mum last night:

Hi Tink, just a quick update before I go to bed. Some improvement in [Gemmword], she opened her eyes for a few secs. it’s been an amazing day, started at dawn when a little fox popped his head in the door and gazed for 5 mins at [Gemm]. Then we had magpies, sparrows and hedgehogs all visit, and all shouting in the doorway. the wee slugs were up kissing [G] at the time, and Charm had been sitting on her eyebrow and tapping her eyelashes for ages, and Grace was chattering in her ear. together they all woke her for a moment. She opened her eyes, but didn’t say anything. Tell you more tomorrow, I’m very tired. Thanks for all thr prayers and support. Love Isobel

I wrote back that it sounds to me like the local wildlife had somehow spread the word that their “animal whisperer” needed them. The scene might be something from a Disney movie.

She got a bit of rest last night, thank goodness.

Then today she found a bunch of notes that Gemm had prepared on what to do if she (Gemm) can’t give instructions. According to Isobel, the notes are incredibly well organized. Along with details of things Isobel can do to help (e.g. giving ice chips with glucose), there’s a schedule for when Isobel should eat and take her own meds, and there are colour-coordinated cards and the like.

She asked me how to play music on the computer – since Gemm does that, she wants to play it for Gemm to hear – and I was walking her through looking for iTunes or Windows Media Player (I’d kill for the ability to see Gemm’s computer remotely the way I can with my co-workers across the country) when Gemm heaved a huge sigh. So Isobel went off to talk to her some more.

I’ve passed along every cheer and message.

Please keep them both in your thoughts and/or prayers.

...as of 2 p.m. Eastern Time, when her mum left me an offline message saying only that.

Her mum thanked Jamie and me yesterday for passing the word to 43T and conveying your messages back: she (Gemm’s mum) just doesn’t feel up to trying to navigate this “big” site without Gemm guiding her.

We made sure she knew that it’s not a chore for either of us, and that in fact we both appreciate being able to do something.

Being virtually helpless while someone I care about is struggling – and in this case, although we know Gemm better, I’m wishing so much that I could do more for her dear, terrified mum as well – is my idea of hell.

Because there’d been no word from Gemmword (that I knew of), online or offline, since last Tuesday, when she was IM-ing with Jamie, I decided to call Scotland tonight.

I’ve just gotten off the phone from an hour-long chat with Gemm. Turns out that her Internet connection has been mysteriously down since mid-week. She’s tried a bunch of remedies, so far to no avail. Tomorrow she’s going to talk to the fellows who sold her the computer and see if they have any ideas about what might be wrong.

Meanwhile, though, she sounds much stronger than she did the last time she and I spoke. She was laughing and telling me slug sagas: they’ve currently got 8 little ones, apparently as a result of her mum’s newly discovered talent for whistling out in the backyard, which brings slugs running as if they were tiny dogs.

I told her that people had been asking after her – including caiti earlier today – and that I knew you’d all want me to send your love to both her and her sweet mum.

She sends her own love back, along with a promise to get online as soon as she can restore access.

If she doesn’t appear by the middle of the week, I said I’d call again to check in.

Gemmword got some much-needed sleep last night, and seemed on the whole to be in considerably better spirits when she and I (with Jamie conferenced in for a while) compu-chatted earlier.

Once again, she asked me to let everyone know that she appreciates the caring and support she’s receiving. She’s sad to be “missing” birthdays: Jamie and I reassured her that people would understand, and might even enjoy having their birthdays extended by getting late greetings. (Personally, I like to still be celebrating last year’s birthday when this year’s rolls around.)

She’s clearly very touched by hearing about everyone’s messages, and about how various people are reflecting their concern in their status lines. That bit of news got an Angel emoticon in response.

Gemmword being Gemmword, she also keeps asking me how So-and-So is doing. I pass along whatever I know. It’s like 43T by Proxy.

Your faithful go-between,
Tink

I was online for a while with Gemmword earlier this evening.

She’s still battling jaundice (which is evidently getting worse) as her liver works to help her past last week’s ghastly allergic reaction.

She hasn’t been sleeping well since the incident: either her body wakes her up (needing fluids, for instance) or her poor dear mum panics and wakes her every 2 hours to ask what meds (i.e., herbal remedies) she needs.

We joked (a good sign) about how much that’s like being in the hospital: “Ma’am? MA’AM? Wake up! It’s time for your sleeping pill!” Not a joke when you’re the one trying to rest and heal, though. And of course she doesn’t want to hurt her mum’s feelings. (I suggested drugs. For her mum. “Have a nice cup of valerian root tea, mum. It’ll help calm your nerves.” Gemmword allowed as how the thought had crossed her mind.)

She hasn’t the energy right now to even read these messages, much less respond to them. I’ve passed along whatever she had the energy to listen to.

She did sign on before she and I talked and start to try to read the accumulated postings under this thread. Both Jamie and I had separately been telling her about them. Sadly, in her exhaustion – which, I know from personal experience, can skew one’s perspective pretty severely (no wonder sleep deprivation is such an effective torture technique!) – she interpreted (or rather, in Jamie’s opinion, with which I concur, misinterpreted) something that had been posted as a suggestion that this might be “all in her mind.” Both Jamie and I assured her over and over that we saw no evidence of such an opinion here. But she’s been badly burned in the past – and as recently as this afternoon, by the specialist dentist who treats her – by people who insist that she’s at best exaggerating and at worst out-and-out lying or malingering. So she’s understandably sensitive about the issue.

She asked me to “make clear that this is a real condition.” I promised to do my best, while pointing out that we can’t control what “people” think. We can only know and live and express our truth.

That said, she also acknowledged that she’s sure the person in question meant no harm, and in fact is a staunch supporter who cares deeply about her and has no reason to doubt her. And she promised not to do anything hasty (like delete her account) in her current condition. I’ve made a suggestion about how (when she’s feeling stronger) she might balance the inaccurate impression that some people might have formed about this condition, and she said she’ll take that under consideration. But of course her priority now must be to get as much rest as possible.

At the close of tonight’s conversation, that’s what she was planning (ok, hoping) to do. She promised to “try to catch up tomorrow,” and I admonished her to do only what she feels she can manage – while allowing for the fact that maintaining contact with at least one or two of us (Jamie had been online with her for quite a while before I popped up, and she said he’d been “a lifesaver”) does seem to be helpful, and perhaps even vital.

I strongly believe that she’s being helped by knowing how many people are rooting for her. And though she’s deeply weary and occasionally tempted to give up fighting, I also sense a strong heartfire in her: she wants to stay alive and come back to regale us with tales of the slugs’ adventures. So I implore you all to continue to hold her in your hearts and minds. And I promise to continue updating you all with whatever I learn.

Blessings on you and yours.

I arrived home after spending the afternoon and evening with friends to find the following offline message:

“hi tink it’s [gemm’s mum]. gemm is not so well. whole system struggling. bit of a relapse. very tired and weak. she loved talking to you. hasn’t had the energy to catch up on 43t yet. i am worried she is taking a step back. her body can’t seem to handle all it’s going through. will try to update you tomorrow. love, [gemm’s mum].”

The message was left about 6 hours ago (around 6 p.m. my time; 1 a.m. in Scotland).

Please, everyone, continue to hold both Gemmword and her worried mother (who told me last night that Gemm will always be her baby) in your thoughts and prayers.