Not hold expectations of people, only to be let down in the end.

Ugh. This is the hardest thing in the world, I’m beginning it’s probably easier to get world peace than to get rid of all expectations.

I’m getting better. I really am. But sometimes my expectations swell grossly out of proportion to what reality can sustain, and the crash is sudden, and painfully disappointing.
I just need a little more reminding, and to learn to see people as they really are, rather than as how I would like them to be.
Ha! Easy as pie…....right? ;)

:)

Yes, since adding this goal to my list I’ve been doing tons of this. Perhaps it’s a combination of wanting to do this, adding this to my 43Things, setting up reminders, and making a conscious effort to ‘do things that are uncharacteristic of me’. I’ve made some big changes this year. I’m proud of what I’ve managed to accomplish, and I’m happier for it.
I don’t hold ‘big’ expectations, in the sense that I don’t expect people to behave a certain way anymore. (i.e. this person is my friend, friends are considerate, I am considerate, therefore my friend will be considerate TO me and call/email/talk/encourage/support me even though I may not immediately ask for it.)
Just because I do something doesn’t mean other people will.

I do still, however, hold different expectations. As became apparent when I went to my Interview From Hell last month and “expected” to be treated with respect and consideration, given that I was an applicant and contender for the particular position, and in a professional environment, and given the fact that I was being respectful and professional with my interviewer. I “expected” somebody to be more…. human with me. (Which was Mistake #1 on my part, as I was later to learn from my mother.)

My mother told me, “Never expect people to be nice, to respect you, or to be professional. You are not entitled to any of those things, in their eyes, by virtue of being you. You will meet lots of people in your life who will treat you like shit just because they can. You have too much of an ideal view of how professional adults should behave, and you will be very disappointed if you expect respect.”

Odd. Enlightening. But I will listen and behave accordingly, as I have been offered the said position, accepted it, and am set to begin next Monday, reporting to precisely the same individual who interviewed me last month!! But… no expectations. I’m just going in and giving it my best shot!

...Because there are certain people in my life who I expect to behave in a certain way, or who I expect to be available when I need them, but who consistently are not. And the only person suffering “the big letdown” is myself. These people don’t know they are the way they are, and I suspect are too selfish to change if I were to point this out.
So, I’m done. I will not bother.
(And I suppose I should also eventually cleanse my life of them)