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god.
i have found him. what i was doing before was looking for purpoase and meaning in all the wrong places because i did not fully accept god. there were still things missing for me that did not fill the void within. some of the questions that dug into my thought processes were= what exactly is the point of life, why do all these bad things happen to me, can’t god make me happy?, and the largest issue was what matters. what i continually did was put importance on things in life that are utterly pointless. the point of life is to proove to yourself and god that you can overcome sin and live with him in eternal bliss. i am living to be living, he gave me the gift of life, the earth, and my body. those three things are worth thousands of lifetimes of thanks. another thing that i constanly did was blame the lord, i kept praying to him and asking why he put all these mean people in my life, and why he let them do those things to me. and here is the answer to that one, god gave humans free choice, if someone says something negative or mean that is their choice and no one can change that but themselves. when i realized that i am in control, i realized it was also my fault for having a bad attitude, that is something only i can change. that pretty much answers the whole “can’t god make me happy” question. of course he can make me happy. i just need to open my eyes and accept the love and gifts he has provided me with.

I think about God everyday.
it is just soooo hard to comprehend.
i mean there are so many things i don’t know.
I go to youth group on Sundays.
everytime i am there i feel like i am on top of the world.
Every year during the summer. I go to christian camp.
I am going in three weeks.
I have been going there for five years now.
I can’t even tell you how great it feels to be surrounded
by all thoses happy people
i want to be happy.