be a happier person

I’m happy on the outside amongst other people, but when I come home at night I’m totally different. The happiness dissolves and I feel the sting of emptiness.

I was the happiest I have ever been in my entire life…for about a month and a half. I was dating an amazing guy and he really brought out the best in me. But then he broke up with me and I am right back to where I started. Where is the girl that used to claim that she didn’t need a guy to make her happy?

And then again come the setbacks. I was doing really well until recently. I feel as if I’m back to my whole being mega depressed state again. I’m on a no speaking basis with my mom and when she does try to talk to me I bite her head off and say the meanest things. Usually by now I’ve rebounded from my mood, but this feels like it’s here to stay until I get what I want. Well why shouldn’t I be upset with her. She won’t cosign for my car just because she sees no reason why we can’t continue to share the truck. Dude woman I’m going to college, I NEED my own vehicle. And did she miss the point where I have more than enough money to make the monthly payments and insurance??? I feel like she is just trying to keep my trapped here and that’s causing me to collapse. I just can’t breathe around here anymore…

I’ve really improved on this since the last time I left an entry. I’m sure if I’ve become happier because I’ve learned how to cope better with things so I don’t let the small things ruin my day. Since I am a gazillion times happier now than a year ago, I feel I can mark this goal as done! : )

I feel as if I am improving and well on my way to be a happier person, but then I get screwed along and everything falls apart again. It’s like a neverending rollercoaster of ups and downs!

im slowly improving on this. Im a whole lot happier than i was last year so im getting there…