be present in the moment

I’ve achieved this goal! I automatically tune into my feelings when I’m stressed or happy. It’ll still be an ongoing aspect of my life that I need to be diligent with. I’m happy that I’ve gotten this far with it.

Living with my emotions is getting me through a lot of stressful moments. I’m now instantly aware when I’m anxious or stressed. Instead of analyzing in my head, I automatically feel it in my body. During a couple of stressful moments this past week I’ve been present to my anxieties and it allowed me to continue in strength and to walk away feeling happy. The best thing to being present is allowing me to let go of my annoyance. I used to come home and relive all the irritating things that happened to me and now I let it go and move on. It’s given me space to be happy.

I just read an excerpt from a book that said the best way to solve the difficulties in our lives is to centre ourselves and start being. She said we gain more from letting go of the very thing that we want. This is true. As soon as I let go of something, truly let go, the energy shifts and it comes into my life. Sometimes, I try to let go without really meaning it and nothing happens, but as soon as I mean it – in it comes. I’m really starting to get this. These last weeks have been spent in thinking of this and being. It’s sometimes incredibly painful to be with my emotions. It’s much easier to immerse myself in activity or daydreaming because in there I don’t have to feel, it’s controlled. But being with myself, being centred is hard. But I’m determined to stay with it because I can see it enriching my life. I experience more everyday. It’s also heightening my intuition.

I first saw this on Linda~Piglet’s page and love it so much I wanted to be reminded of it always.

Comes The Dawn
(Author Unknown)

After a while you learn the
subtle difference
Between holding a hand and
chaining a soul,
And you learn that love
doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean
security,
And you begin to understand
that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held high and
your eyes open,
With the grace of a woman,
not the grief of a child,
You learn to build your roads
On today because tomorrow’s ground
Is too uncertain for plans,
and futures have
A way of falling down in
mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that
even sunshine
Burns if you get too much,
So you plant your own garden
and decorate
Your own soul, instead of
waiting
For someone to bring you
flowers.
And you learn that you really
can endure,
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and learn…
And learn,
With every good-bye you learn.

Alongside all my joy lately is also sadness. Being in the moment helped me peel away my anxieties, and it unveiled all my sadness from the past – acknowledged and unrecognized. In these past few weeks, my past has come back with a vengence. I know I can’t change any of it; so I’m trying to stay with it. Eventually it will peel away too. It’s hard to deal with it and I can’t believe how often I’m crying. I think staying with it has kept me from getting depressed. What else can I say? There’s a long way to go and I’m taking baby steps. I know I’ll get there.

I feel like I’m on the cusp of something amazing. I’ve felt this way before, but now that I’m more connected to the present; I feel intune to something that’s beyond the tangible. Feeling like this makes me feel excited about the coming week. What will it hold? What will happen? Smiles. :)

Sometimes I swear we’re all connected spiritually. There’s moments when I’m genuinely in the moment where I can feel things are about to happen and then they do. Like knowing a friend will call or email me moments before they do. Or I’ll think of someone out of the blue and then I’ll run into them in the street. A friend told me that when this happens it could mean that the other person had been thinking of me and called me into their life. How freaky is that? This happened too many times for me to brush off as coincidence. Obviously, I’d like to get connected enough so I can predict lottery numbers, but this is good, too.

Yes, and it’s making me terribly, terribly sad. This is the next level of being present for me. When I first got what it was to be present, I became aware of how much anxiety I carry with me. And, now, I’ve released most of it. It’s like peeling an onion: there’s always another layer. The new, deeper layer is saddness; so I’m trying to stay with it until it peels away. I’m really hoping joy is underneath.

Yes, I am so present. Too much so. Painful.

Being incredibly present lately, and it’s making me incredibly sad. Or maybe sadness is always with me and it’s just now that I’m present to it. Yes?