lose weight

I’ve lost about 4 lbs since the last time I was weighed. A month or so ago?
But I’m still not exercising. And it makes me feel stupid. Because I can go work out at Curves anytime I want to. My aunt owns the place and I still don’t go. Lame. I guess I’m scared of being judged. Or looking like a fool.
I’m eating less food more frequently. I eat Special K for breakfast. And fruit of any kind (usually an apple) around noon. For lunch I like turkey and swiss on wheat. And I eat off of a smaller plate at dinner. And I don’t have seconds, which I used to always do (sometimes thirds and fourths). And I might have some popcorn or ice cream later.
I’m also trying to stop eating at around 7:30 or 8. I heard that if you eat past that time, you won’t have enough time to burn off the calories before you go to sleep.
And I’ve been drinking tons of water. All day. I got a reusable bottle and I fill it up at home.
I noticed cellulite the other day. And I cried! I never noticed that I had any. But now it’s really visible. So screw being scared to work out, I’m going! I’m also contemplating getting this body wrap thing that my mom does. She’s been twice, and her thighs don’t jiggle anymore. But it’s kind of expensive.

And a ps – I have a boyfriend now, and I’m burning calories with him as much as possible! =)

today’s a lousy day
i feel like eating all the time
and i have not stopped shoveling it in all morning
i hate this feeling

I really had thought that I would be able to lose five pounds in the past two weeks. I don’t have a scale in my house right now, but I don’t feel lighter. But I’m not positive.

And I’ve been eating a little less, but the thing that is setting me back is sodas. I need to stop drinking them as much as I do, or switch to diet. I try to drink more water.

And my thinspiration? It doesn’t inspire me at all. It makes me feel awful.

I’m stress eating. HELP!

my mom said it was taking over my life. so she threw it out. now i’m not sure how to track my weight. i’ll definitely start to keep a food journal.

i had to go without a scale only once before. and that was right around this time last year. but i was going through a really tough time with a guy and i wasn’t really eating anyway. so it didn’t even bother me. i knew i was losing.

grr. i’m stuck still. i’m trying to take less bites of food per meal and i’m chewing more too, to take up time at the table. and sipping water between bites. but nothing really seems to be working.

and what’s more important: less fat or less carbs?

i was so scared that i had gained weight when i went away on vacay during november. and i just recently went to my doc (stupid flu) and saw on my chart the dreaded news. up from 117 to 129. i’m 5’3” and i know that i’m not fat, but i also know that i’m not as thin as i would like to be.

the things that make this goal feel impossible: 1) i love food. a lot, and 2) i hate exercising. a lot more. ugh and grr.
will power is too big a word for me as i have none. i’m hoping that through sharing my thought as frequently as possible, maybe i can get this thing under control. my goal: 110.