Continue to deal with my phobias

Have suddenly become a lot easier to cope with. I still don’t like the falling feeling you get when the lifts going down, and the sudden feeling of dropping you get on some lifts when they stop going up… but I’m coping with it a lot better.

On Friday night, Jimmy and I had a meal at The Langley in Covent Garden. He let me get off the train at Holborn as he said that Covent Garden Station only has lifts to get down to the platforms, but we had so much trouble finding the place that on the way back, I agreed to take the lift down to the Covent Garden Station instead. I babbled a bit incoherently into Jimmy’s chest as the lift descended and he said I was the only one talking as the lift went down, but if he was bothered by my talking, he never said so.

He helps me cope with my phobias so much. I couldn’t face these things without his love and support. Lifts is one that will still take a while but at least with this one at Covent Garden, it was relatively smooth, certainly compared to the one at the Brighton Thistle Hotel.

It’s taken me a long time to do this. 14 years, would you believe? I turned 30 six months ago, and I guess it was then that I saw life was getting away from me. I didn’t really think about it too much, I thought more about just getting out there and enjoying myself and seeing places and experiencing things. I’ve been on the London Underground, overland trains, in lifts with Jimmy beside me; and I’ve been into town on a bus alone, and I’ve been on a twenty minute trip on a train to meet Jimmy at Tey… I don’t think about going to the pub for a drink, I actively look forward to going out for meals! I’ve been making progress. I need to keep doing this.

This one differs from dance with life because it’s about striving for achievements – dance with life is about enjoying those achievements. Sometimes I achieve something and feel grumpy about it afterwards, like I barely scraped through it by the skin of my teeth… and this one is for that kind of experience.