which I got back as change:
“Get excited (or even mad) about something today. Your passion is contagious…and inspiring!”
Perhaps redefining my idea of “live passionately” is all I need to realize that I am living passionately or as passionately as I’m capable of.
but I wonder
am I even that kind of person
who lives with passion
maybe this passion isn’t within my genetic make-up
or a least the movie version kind of passion
I suppose if I have to make this a goal it certainly isn’t a
Is this something that can be learned & then practiced?
Do I have to take a class to understand the basics?
Or listen to a CD for instruction?
it’s been months & I hardly feel I’m any closer to this goal
then when I started
“I arise in the morning torn between the desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”
- E. B. White
And I’m not dead yet. It’s time to remember my true passions & not let life completely get in the way. I want to be able to maintain a positive and fun-loving attitude towards life even when it gets difficult. I keep reminding myself there are worse things I could be experiencing but there are better ones too and it’s time I take a chance.
I always thought of myself as a risk-taker but I think I’ve only been dreaming those ideas not living them. If I had only 12 months to live everything would be different. Since I’m not planning on dying anytime soon, there has to be a way to live with passion even when there is work to do & bills to pay.
I thought about my former acting/theater days this morning & just having those memories brought me inner joy. Memories are great but I don’t want to live in memories. I want to bring more of that happiness & joy into my life right now!
And me sitting on the computer complaining about it all isn’t exactly helping me to reach this goal. So now I have to make some concrete plans.
My friend has a one-act show that i’ve been meaning to see. The next show is in December. I’m making a point of going.
Another friend invited me to attend his church service to listen to choir Christmas music next month as well.
While it may not be my passion exactly supporting friends in theirs will have me to realize my own.
sharing this article anyway:
The Mantra That Helps You Live Longer
The last thing we all need right now is another doom-and-gloom headline. So try this mantra as an antidote: Good times are coming.
Think it. Believe it. Say it to yourself often, as often as it takes to put yourself in a more positive frame of mind. Not only could it put more bounce in your step, but research shows it may add miles to your life, too.
It’s all about attitude. And the right one did a lot for the women in a study. Those with the most optimism, a belief that good things will happen, enjoyed a 14 percent lower risk of dying from any cause during the study, compared with their most pessimistic peers. And the women who saw the glass as half full were also 30 percent less likely to develop heart disease.
The study findings don’t necessarily prove that a bad attitude shortens life. But cultivating a positive mood certainly can’t hurt you. A positive attitude does a bunch of good stuff for your health—like setting you up to cope with stress in healthier ways (such as meditation instead of drinking). Positive people may also deal with stress better and live longer because they tend to enjoy deeper social bonds than cynical types do.
If I stay where I am part-time
I have health insurance which I pay for 50% of
If I leave right now I will be left without it
However if I leave I will make more money
eventually I can buy my own insurance
but not right now
By staying I’m getting sick; mentally drained and fatigued
Still I’m afraid to leave for uncertainty
and in all of this…
I’m trying to live passionately but it’s sucking the life out of me
And on a Friday night I wish I were going out instead of staying in to get to bed early so that I can get up and work tomorrow for health insurance!!!
about the rest. My “issues” have been standing in my way. I’ve been standing in my own way waiting for something to happen; for someone to come along instead of just plunging into my own abilities to be passionate in life right at this moment.
I realize now I can attribute a lot of my lack of passion to my upbringing & to my immediate family. They always want to put in a critical word when become cheerful. If I’m “too happy” or “upbeat” @ any given moment they joke that I’ve been drinking. I’m never just allowed to have my own uninhibited emotions of joy without it causing someone to raise an eyebrow. I’ve often taken on an attitude of depression because it seems they’d rather have me emotionally detached then fully present.
All my life I’ve worried about their emotional reactions & frankly I’m tired of it. I’m still too much in their lives & they’re too much in mine. Without some emotional distance I don’t think I can let my passion burst into my existence.
come out, come out, where ever you are…
I expect miracles. And by God, I shall have miracles. Is this the face of passion? Perhaps I can evoke passion by first imagining it.
Or maybe passion isn’t what I should be seeking. Maybe this is the wrong goal. Maybe I should just not seek anything at all instead just “be”.
but by the looks of it I’m either A.Not or B. Let my passion go cuz
I can’t seem to find it anywhere.
—->ugogrl is searching the room frantically.