center myself spiritually

I attended sangha.

We read the 5 Mindfulness Trainings
http://deerparkmonastery.org/mindfulness-practice/the-five-mindfulness-trainings

And while I missed the first half hour meditation, I was able to participate in the walking meditation outdoors. The weather is beautiful today and being surrounded by the trees and sun made me feel peaceful & in gratitude.

keep grounded in the emotional turbulence of others.
Since illness & death seem to never end. And all things in life are
transitory, I can’t go into a deep depression upon hearing more sad news even if other are willing to spiral down.

We use a bell in mediation practice
http://www.mindfulnessbell.org/index.php
& I just found this APP in chrome’s store for free
http://www.mindfulbell.org/

not allowing others people’s negative energy affect mine.

I had been somewhat working on this in therapy. And I’ve tried to use meditation as a means to keep myself calm when others bring their “problems” to me in the way of nasty behavior.

Today I washed dishes by hand & my father exploded. He wants all dishes in the dishwasher but at home I’m used to washing dishes myself. There isn’t too much I can say to bring calmness to the situation.

My father is not a calm man & prone to emotional outbursts that truly make a mountain out of a molehill. Because I’m a guest here & need to be for @ least a few more days, I’m trying not to react with my anger. However it’s hard, his anger is so explosive I feel that I want to tell him off which really just escalates his temper.

If kindness could kill….

When anyway, I’m really trying to keep my own emotional balance & not feel angry or sad or moody (snappy) myself.

right before Thanksgiving. And I haven’t done much sitting on my own. I miss my dear sangha.

But I’ve been keeping up with them through emails and online groups. I’ve also been continually keeping my thoughts on spirituality through the listening of podcasts and the readings of Buddhist teachings.

“My life is an indivisible whole, and all my activities run into one another; and they have their rise in my insatiable love of mankind.”
- Mahatma Gandhi

Vesak… a celebration honoring Buddha’s birthday.
We met at a local park and reflected on what is means to have the ability to change our lives. How we can learn to be happy with our lives as they unfold and that in each of us, our infant and our child, still lives happily.

It was a beautiful day and the park is so scenic with a running brook, a lily pad pond, old statuesque trees, a variety of birds and a tranquil bay hugging the edges of the northern face of the land.

It made me joyous.

to believe in a higher power without questioning if I’m deluding myself or not.

For years I’ve tried to convince myself that “God” and “universal energy” is simply a throw back to a primitive concept instilled in me by my upbringing.

I’ve attempted to shrug off my instincts and insights as a result for fear of seeming “foolish” and “gullible”. While I don’t consider myself a practicing Christian (i.e. I don’t attend church services regularly) the basic principles of “forgiveness”, “do unto others”, and “the kingdom of heaven is within” has always stayed with me.

Right now my path is running Buddhist and similarly Taoist however, these philosophies give me room to incorporate the fundamentals which I find so helpful in my everyday living.

“Be lamps unto yourselves…Hold the truth within yourselves as the only truth.”
- the Buddha

It was a nice service and I was able to met the new priest.
The kids had an Easter egg hunt after the mass
and I saw an old friend from years ago, who at first, I hardly recognized.

It was a nice time & I will attend another service sometime in May.