not be afraid of roaches

I am so scared of roaches. There is a reason they are here though. Outside in the forest, in your backyard, anywhere outside.. They eat the fallen leaves on the ground and this may seem gross but when they go to the bathroom (not pee) they fertilize the soil. One time I was playing on the computer and this big tree roach came up on my desk. It turned around and kinda looked at me. I have a swivel chair and i backed away then it started flying toward me then when it got halfway there i slapped it onto the ground then i got my flashlight and raid spray and looked around for it and i sprayed it and put the can on top of it. I cant beleive i actually touched it!! GROSS!! Usually I stay clear of roaches. I’m afraid to open the door or go outside at night. I’m also afraid of Junebugs.. I do NOT know why.. They just look creepy.. Anyway, I usually don’t even want to kill them. I have to get someone else to do it usually..