go to grad school

I’m going to take “a” class, focus on family and figure this out later. this will be a long term goal and seeing it everyday is depressing me.

I just cancelled my gre test and cause I did it too late, I couldn’t reschedule or get a refund. I might as well have flushed $130 down the toilet. I feel so negative, especially since my only excuse was not studying and now I can’t go even if I wanted to cause I scheduled something for work that i can’t cancel. I feel like I just sabotaged myself though I’m glad I don’t have a test tomorrow. I want to go back to school but for classes like creative writing and scupture or something. Not a degree. I don’t even know what I want to do. Today I want to be a furniture maker. Tomorrow? maybe a lawyer. I’m gonna put grad school on hold and take some community college courses to get me motivated and inspired until I can figure things out.

I ditched a grad info fair today and don’t feel particularly bad about it. I may need to wait until we get our bills in better order.

So far I’ve signed up for my GREs, printed out applications, and reserved a spot at suny albany grad fair. Not that we can afford for me to go but whats a couple more tens of thousands of dollars of debt gonna hurt?