become a better friend

my sister and i have started to plan our back-to-school brunch to lure friends and acquaintences over before the crazy school year starts. my plan is to invite people i want to get to know better to a series of events throughout the year. in october i want to plan a ladies poker night, complete with mocktails, snacks, and fun.

i realized this summer that i shouldn’t always wait for people to invite me to stuff because a) i have a busy schedule and most of the time i have to say ‘no’ if i don’t have a heads-up and b) maybe they are waiting for me to invite them to stuff!

i made a small list of goals for next year. i would like to:

1. have lunch once a week with my sister
2. watch grey’s anatomy weekly at a friend’s
3. one outing at least once every other week
4. go to dinner or out with my staff once a month
5. call friends just to say hello
6. invite friends casually to movies, dinner, park, coffee…
7. say “yes” to more invites myself
8. balance time with my boyfriend with time with my friends
9. have a high school reunion party once in the summer

my sister/best friend and i were talking a few weeks ago about a friend’s wedding and i said, “i need to find a number three.” she was confused and i explained that i have only two close friends, my sister and my friend ryen. if i were to get married today (and i am not), i would only have two people in my wedding party- a maid of honor (sister) and one bridesmaid (ryen). i realized i’m not close enough to anyone else to even think about asking someone to be my number three. that makes me sad.

of course, i want to find a close friend for more reasons than filling that singular role, but it is a good way to measure how social i am. i know women who have 15 bridesmaids (ridiculous, by the way) and i can’t even scrounge up three! i need to start cultivating solid friendships and find a friend i am compatible with who i will keep in touch with post-college. this is my mission for next year: make one good friend.

i made a short list of friends i really would like to improve my relationship with, mostly old friends i lost touch with over the years. i then made a list of ways to make time for them, from organizing a monthly poker game to hosting a back-to-school brunch in the fall to sending them homemade cards every now and then to say hello and let them know i appreciate them. i really want to make my friends a priority again and to make it up to them for losing touch.