take good care of myself

A big part of this is building relationships with people. I tend to think of taking care of myself in physical terms only when my social side needs some attention too. I went out to dinner last night with friends at an incredible vegetarian restaurant and feel really energetic and full of joy. It’s probably the best thing I’ve done for myself in the past couple weeks and it had nothing to do with exercising anything other than my laughing muscles.

this meant eating even though my host mom asked me if i was getting “fatter”.

four months ago, that question would have completely devastated me. it would have meant complete relapse and more.

but taking good care of myself meant spending time meditating, reminding myself that it is a cultural thing to ask that, not meant to imply that somebody actually is fat, and is probably only her way of making sure that i am happy, comfortable, and well taken care of in her home. it meant eating breakfast anyway, eating lunch, relaxing, and remembering that eating will make me feel better about myself when i am able to exercise and invest completely in living than starving myself ever did.

Finally recovering was a good start on this goal. I’m exercising regularly in the morning now trying to build endurance. I hope to run a marathon. I’m also trying to really be conscious of what I eat and when. Small meals 4 or 5 times a day seems best. I have so much more energy and life than I did even a year ago. I just can’t wait until I’m living on my own again and can cook all my own food. I am really missing vegetarian eating right now. Nanay cooks meat every meal.
The biggest thing I’ve done to take good care of myself is realize that time and space is essential. Sometimes I just have to get away and take time to process, think, relax, breathe…