Establish smart boundaries and give good guidance to my 16 year old as he begins the new experience of "dating" young ladies

Tonight son #1 has a homecoming dance date:)

This is a new thing for him. He has never been interested in going to any of the high school dances…...till now:)

So…......we’ve had some pretty funny questions/answer sessions. Here’s part of our conversation…........

Me: Do you need to get her a flower?
Son: A flower, what’s that for?

Me: Are you taking her out to dinner first?
Son: Mom…......it’s a dance, not a dinner!

Me: What are you supposed to wear?
Son: dunno.

LOL! So…...trying to be a wise mom….... I didn’t try to pursue any of these topics any further. I figured I had planted the seed and he would figure it out later.
So, this morning we are talking and he says….........”Uh, I need to get a flower. And everybody’s going to dinner beforehand. And I need to wash my dress pants. Can I borrow Dad’s teal tie?”

And I breathed a sigh of relief…...........he is learning:)

My oldest has a steady girlfriend right now. This week he was all smiles when he announced that they had been dating for 1 entire month now.

Ah, yes, I remember those days…...........when you kept track of the weeks and months that you were together and celebrated the simple passing of time:)

Regardless, whenever he brings up his young lady, I always take that as an opportunity to be nosy. I asked…........”Have you kissed her yet?”. He said “Yes”. I said…........”Just once?”. He said “more”. I said “more than 10 or less than 10?”. He said about “10”. I said “I hope not all at once!”. LOL! He said, “NO!!!”

I was actually very surprised he shared any information at all. Usually he just rolls his eyes at me and say…........”MOM!!!!”.

It’s such a clumsy thing, trying to talk to him about this stuff. But I know it needs to be discussed. He needs to learn how to treat a young lady with care and respect. And though the real responsibility to keep to good boundaries lies with him and him alone, I feel my role is to help him think through what “good boundaries” are. Then do my best to establish guidelines that support those boundaries. And finally, to hold him accountable.

Wish I had some advice from parents who have been there and done that. Most people I talk to just say…......they basically stay uninvolved w/ their kid’s dating lives. I just CAN’t do that!

WOW! Our oldest son went on his first “date” this weekend. It was a very big deal! Prior to this hubby and I worked hard on putting together our dating rules/expectations for him. We came up with 10 standards that we felt were of the utmost importance. We even put them to paper! (We didn’t want there to be any ambiguity at all with what we expected his conduct to be.) Knowing that whatever we established with this son will set the pattern for the next 2 sons, really made us think hard about how to begin this all-important first time experience with son #1. We also asked him to write his own thoughts about how to treat a young lady and submit them to us. We had some good conversation about all of these things and then…......... he scheduled his first date with a young lady:)

Son #1 had a dinner date with his girlfriend on Saturday night.
And I can’t believe how quickly my baby has grown up:)

I’m sure there will be much more conversation & guidance to come in this area! But I can’t help but smile and enjoy his “awe” and “wonder” at this new experience!