live in the moment

Saw these 2 quotes on the cover of 2 journals and it reminded me of this goal.

“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“Nothing is worth more than this day.” – Goethe

An entry from my journal
I started a new project for myself called “Have 100 Different Days” and I’ll be keeping track on my goal page and on my journal as I go along if you care to share in my adventures. I planned this idea out a couple weeks ago and today – Sep. 23rd – is my starting day. That (un-coincidently) makes December 31st day 100 and the end of the year. If I’ve done nothing else… I will know I at least had 100 different days.

My goal is basically to do something different every day than what is my normal routine. It could be a simple as changing my route home from work, taking a stroll around my neighborhood or cooking something new. Or it could be as elaborate as taking a trip, learning a new skill or facing a fear.

This is to help me experience new things, to maybe help me learn more about myself as well as giving me the opportunity to learn more about my hometown and all the things I’ve taken for granted all these years.

Ask and ye shall recieve. I went to the movie theater and watched Peacful Warrior this weekend. It was certainly refreshing to see a movie I actually liked for a change, but it was even better because I would say it’s one of the best movies I’ve seen a LONG time. The overly-simplistic way to describe the plot would be: It’s a movie about learning to live in the moment. It’s about recognizing the beauty right in front of you instead of wasting so much energy fretting over the past and future.

This is something I can completely relate to right now because I’ve been teaching myself to focus on the moment ever since I picked up a book called “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. Living in the Now might sound easy, and it’s easy to say, but it really takes a lot of practice and patience to block out all the buzzing that goes on inside my head. This film does a wonderful job portraying the difficulties of living this way. It shows the battle between your head and your heart when trying to change your way of life and everything you’ve been pre-programed to think about yourself and the world around you.

watch the trailer on google video here

What IS it about seeing an ex that sends your mind swirling into the past to question things?

I went to a friends going away party this weekend and the first guy I ever dated (let’s call him ‘Sports Guy’) was there as well because he’s really good friends with the guy who’s leaving. Let me just preface this by saying that I dated this guy when I was 17 and again when I was 19, so it’s not like this was a boyfriend from 10 years ago or anything. LOL

Anyway, Sports Guy was there with his fiance and I’ve met her and hung out with them before, but this time Sports Guy barely said 2 words to me, which is weird because we’ve always been able to talk! He wouldn’t even look me in the eyes for most the night. And normally I don’t think this would’ve bothered me too much, but the only people there I knew were my best friend, Sports Guy & his fiance.

My best friend doesn’t like his fiance at all. She thinks his fiance mooches off him and has no ambitions to do anything with her life. She thinks sports guy is settling for this girl because he wants a relationship that bad. I felt so embarrassed because my best friend basically kept making rude/sarcastic comments to his fiance about her lack of drinking, etc. I wanted to apologize, but what would I say? I just kinda stared at the ground hoping they realized I would never antagonize anyone for the decision to not drink alcohol. Actually I personally think Sports Guy’s fiance is a really nice girl and if I knew her better or maybe under different circumstances I think we could’ve been friends.

With all the comments from my best friend (and even his own friend) I do sometimes start to wonder if he is settling for her. Not that it’s any of my business at this point. All I know is, the reason Sports Guy and I broke up was because he wanted a serious committed relationship (the second time we dated, when I was 19) after only about 2 weeks. This guy was basically my first date, my first kiss, the first guy I made out with and so someone getting that serious that quick made me nervous because I just wasn’t ready for it. After about a month and 1/2 instead of trying to figure things out I just basically told him it was moving too fast for me and he completely understood even joking, “Well, maybe 3rd times a charm, right?” I hate being negative about anyone, especially since I think Sports Guy would be smart enough to not just settle for someone in order to have relationship. I truly hope he’s happy and completely head over heels for her, because he deserves to be in love and I’d hate to see him get hurt. I personally have no problem with women deciding to stay home and take care of the kids & home, (that’s the beauty of choice we have in this day and age) but I would hope they do it because it’s what they want and not because it’s what’s easiest.

As I was going home I realized I didn’t even remember to congratulate him on his engagement and instantly felt terrible! That may have been the reason why he barely spoke with me, or maybe he just feels awkward being around me, or it might have just because we hadn’t seen each other for about a year and he had nothing to say to me. I don’t even know why I was so bothered by it. But in the end I just hope he’s happy and that they’re happy together. Screw what everyone else thinks, if they’re in love they can work through anything.

Well, that was therapeutic and I feel better for getting it out. I know in a few days I’ll be back to my normal carefree self and not questioning things that are none of my business.

photo credit http://art-cadre.com

A Journal entry that I wrote last autumn when I was backpacking through Europe.

Journal Entry from: September 14th, 2005

Today we visited the South Bank where the London Eye is and they had an art gallery that featured the works of Salvador Dali. His paintings and sketches were very abstract for the most part but the works that captured me most were his bronze sculptures. Two related sculptures called The Nobility of Time and The Pesistance of Time proclaimed (or at least how I interpreted it) that time is nothing but what we make of it. It really made me think about how much I’m constantly looking forward instead of concentrating on what’s in front of me. Instead of wishing for things to be better next week (or month, year, etc.) I need to work on making right now the best it can be, because all I have is right now. Tomorrow, next week and next year will always be a day, a week or a year away.