quit smoking cigarettes

I’ve posted here before and failed at my last attempt to quit smoking.

This is not an attempt. I smoked my last one on Monday June 2nd, around 7pm.

I bought The Easy Way to Quit Smoking by Alan Carr around Christmas – actually bought two copies and gave one to my mom.

My husband read the book and hasn’t smoked in about 2 months. I’ve been slowly reading it and processing the info while still smoking… and finally got to the last page the other day. I knew – “time’s up, I’m done with this shit.”

My mom wants to make a pact with my brother and me that we all quit smoking on June 13th – I just agreed because I really want her to quit smoking too – but I knew in my gut that I did not want to continue smoking for another 1.5 weeks… I wanted to hurry up and get the filthy things out of my life and start feeling better. So Monday night I smoked my last cigarette out in the front yard. After a few deep drags I did that gag/cough thing and knew… “this will be my last cigarette, I am finally free!” I put it out saying aloud “I will never smoke another cigarette.”

Of course I have cravings but I recognize them for what they are. It’s pretty easy to quit, really. I’m just acknowledging the urges as they come, but I know that little nicotine monster inside me is slowly dying and that I’ve made the right choice. I truly feel better already. I’m not moping and pining for a cigarette, because that would just be reinforcing the idea that the stupid things are precious in some way.

I know they don’t taste good, they don’t relieve my stress, they don’t alleviate boredom, they don’t complete a meal, they don’t make it easier to socialize, they don’t help me clear my mind. They actually trash my self esteem and I am much better off without them.

... and smoked a few cigarettes over the weekend. I hadn’t smoked in 10 whole days. Knowing where my husband hides his cigarettes is not a good thing. I wish he’d just give them up but I can’t force him. I had a total of 5, I think – and felt terrible about every one of them. I don’t really know why I did it. I have been in a sour mood but the patches have helped a lot with controlling my cravings. I wasn’t wearing one consistently over the weekend. I’m at work now, where it’s easier not to smoke because I’m busy. But on the weekends it really nags at me. I am trying not to beat myself up about it because I know this is a process, but I felt the need to confess. I’m not going to smoke today, that’s for sure. I guess my goal right now, instead of saying “I’ll never smoke again” is that I won’t smoke today.

How are others faring in their quest to become smoke-free? Gah, it’s so hard!

I was distraught most of the morning and this afternoon because one of my cats became suddenly ill. I had to take time off from work and take him to the vet, where he screamed bloody murder and had to be sedated so the vet could examine him. GOD I WANTED TO SMOKE SO BAD, but I totally didn’t. Therefore, I deserve a present. If I hadn’t dropped $160 on the cat, I’d buy myself something nice. Instead, I’ll work some overtime to make up for what I lost. Tomorrow marks one full week of not smoking. I’m pretty pleased, but have a long way to go on this road to self-improvement.

I am a rock star.

I didn’t even wear a patch yesterday. I have one on today because I’m at work and there are a number of smokers here… don’t want to have a weak moment and cave in when I get frustrated (happens a lot here). Yesterday I got upset at one point and went onto my porch to see if my husband left any good butts in the ashtray. I peered in and was so disgusted, there was no way I was going to smoke one. So today is Day 6 – I haven’t smoked since last Wednesday morning. Not bad, eh?

PS – this place isn’t as active as I’d hoped for, am I the only person quitting right now?

Haven’t smoked since Wednesday! I’m already feeling more energetic and it’s really not too hard to stay away from smoking… probably because I’ve been wanting to quit for a while now. Big test tonight will be going to a bar. I don’t usually go to bars, but tonight there’s a going away party for a business associate of mine and I can’t get out of it. I really don’t want to go but am interested in working for the company he’s leaving, and need to see some of the contacts I have. I won’t stay long, maybe just a couple of hours. But I know how it goes and know how tempted I’ll eventually be… must stay strong! Gah, I wish I could just not go!

Haven’t smoked since the one that almost made me puke yesterday morning. I don’t even want to, for the most part. My husband says he wants to quit but we can never get on the same page about it, so I know he always has cigarettes. When he comes home at night I get an urge to make him give me one, but I won’t do it. He at least has the decency to not come home reeking of smoke.

Funny thing: I’m at work typing this and a coworker just came to my window and did the international sign for “can I get a smoke?”. I just pulled up my sleeve and showed him the patch I’m wearing.

Hopefully I can keep this going.

I had my first cigarette at 11 years old and am 32 now. I quit cold turkey when I was 19 and absolutely hated the smell of smoke – stayed off cigarettes for 4 years. I truly believed I would never, ever smoke again. Oh where did that willpower go?

I started up again when I met my now-husband. We drank a lot together when we first started dating, and we all know how hand-in-hand smoking goes with the bar scene. I thought I could do the “social smoker” thing but before long I was back to buying a pack every couple of days. After a couple years, I quit again, for another 4 years. I started up yet again when starting my business/planning my wedding, and have only been able to stay off cigarettes for a few months at a stretch for the last few years.

Smoking makes me feel terrible about myself. I don’t have the energy or drive I used to have, and I see what it’s doing to me physically. I have bags under my eyes, wrinkles on my face, and my teeth aren’t as white as they used to be. I feel nauseous a lot of the time and often, after my “first thing in the morning” cigarette, I gag and sometimes throw up. Why do I do this to myself? Most of the cigarettes I smoke on a given day don’t satisfy me or taste good.

I’ve used patches with good success in the past so I am wearing one today. The mistake I always seem to make is having “just a drag” after not smoking for a while, which progresses to “just one smoke”, and then “I’ll just bum from my friends, I won’t buy any” – before long I’m buying a pack at the gas station on my way to work.

There is so much I want to do in this life. I want to become a mom and I certainly don’t want to smoke while pregnant or raising a baby. I’m having trouble getting pregnant and feel that a healthier life in general would be more conducive to getting there. I really need my energy back and I want to look at myself in the mirror and not see the damage I’m doing to myself. I think I look older than 32, and I used to always appear younger than my age. I hate to be vain, but it is a factor in wanting to quit. I also want to have the energy to do things with my three dogs in the evenings, instead of sitting around smoking and then feeling like garbage.

So here I am.