stop being angry

I’m finally over my stage of indifference!!!!!
I really think this going to be a beautiful beginning…I’m feeling so much calmer and using other ways to channel my energy. Of course not all of this uncontrollable rage has gone away, but Rome wasn’t built in a day either and i just have to take each day as it comes =)

I’m getting close to my goal, but now an even more dangerous emotion has occurred. Complete indifference. I couldn’t care to laugh, i couldn’t care whether it’s raining or not, i couldn’t care less about anything at all, probably not even if i got run over by a car. This is a bit worrying. I want to care. But i don’t know how to anymore.

I realize that not only am i angry but I’m terribly sarcastic with my anger. If you get what i mean? When I’m angry i just throw hurtful sarcastic comments which i think is worse than having outbursts of rage . I really don’t know what to do. And on top of that I’m really sad if not bordering on depressed. Life could be worse, i could be a starving child in Africa but if i have such a ‘great life’ and I’m not starving…then why am i so sad?

The past year has not been easy for so many reasons and i really just need to discover how to deal with all of it. It’s been getting better but recently it’s been getting worse and i really don’t know how I’m going to stop right now.It’s really hard.

Im a happy person don’t get me wrong, but i have alot of anger inside of me…ALOT.
Especially with my dad, he’s always saying atht im a bad person and im not good enough and whatever i do, it’s never good enough. That’s exactly how i feel whatever i do is never good enough, i get good marks, im a nice person but i’m so frastrated. My sister went to university, my parents are now divorced (thank god), but i just sometimes feel i can’t deal with life. Like it’s just to hard, i have HUGE bursts of anger at people adn i love my life, but i wish i wasnt so angry all the time… i just wish i could let go.