be unafraid of failure

Sent out a story to the VCU lit mag. Now that it’s too late for me to call it back, I’m sort of numb about it. I’d love for it to be accepted, but I’m not sure. It’s not a mainstream story, but I don’t think it’s dark enough for the horror/fantasy novels. sighs Now, I just have to deal with the possibility that it will be rejected. It wouldn’t be the first time, but I always hate the possibility.

That I have a horrible sense of direction is something I have come to accept. Still, today, I was trying to get to a going away luncheon and ended up a good twenty minutes lost. Well, I knew where I was, it just wasn’t where I needed to be. After turning around. I was starving. I stopped at the first place I could see and got something to eat. I was nearly in tears I was so frustrated (and hungry. I’m blaming blood-sugars for my mood.). I just wanted to scream.

Ah, well, at least this is something I can fail at regularly without being too upset about it. In fact one of my friends has a policy. If I think we should go one way to get “unlost”, she’ll automatically turn the other way!

sigh

Depending on the day it seems I’m afraid of one or the other. I think the fear of success looms larger for me most of the time, but there’s definitely a fear of failure ingrained in my behavior. I need to challenge myself to find out what frightens me about failure and redefine what failure means. I need to find a way to lessen the pain of failure and focus on the opportunities and paths that failure opens up.