whitelotus75 is doing 41 things including…

experience life moment by moment and take it as it comes

8 cheers

 

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whitelotus75 has written 7 entries about this goal

A way of life

I have embraced this goal as a way of life and it has taken away the stress. I believe that the universe is friendly and that all good things are coming to me. With this faith I have been able to look at any situation as an opportunity, for growth or change, for whatever it was meant to be. It is amazing to look back at where I was only a year ago. I have opened up my life to so many new people and experiences utilizing this goal. I feel like a new person, so much freer. I highly recommend this goal if you tend to hold back, over think and worry about outcomes.



plans

Lately I have stopped making plans and kinda just waited to see what would fall into place. It is amazing how this is working.



judge's decision

Living in the moment. Experiencing life as it comes. This is how I am experiencing life today. I am acknowledging that today is an emotional day, and letting myself be emotional. Today I received the judge’s decision about child support for my kids. On the surface that should be straight forward, factual non-emotional. I knew that wouldn’t be the case and am glad that I took the day off work for me to have a few hours just to think and feel about everything before picking my kids up from school and continuing on with life like nothing happened as I try not to have them be aware of what is going on in this regard. I have tied up a lot into this day. Financially and emotionally. I am happy that it is done. I am not thrilled with the decision, but it is a decision I can live with, and essentially that was the entire reason for going to court, because my ex and I couldn’t agree and had to put that decision in someone else’s hands. So that has now been done. I feel relief for that, not having to argue about that again. I feel like the judge was very sympathetic to my ex and his current situation. My ex is extremely good at playing the victim role and did here to a tee. I take responsibility for what needs to be done and step up and don’t point fingers or place blame and in this case that did not work in my favor. So, I feel disappointed and frustrated that my/my kids’ situation was not acknowledged. I am sad that my kids lives won’t be improved financially to the extent I had hoped, and that selfishly I will not yet get to enjoy the benefits of my hard work as I will continue to provide most of the financial support to my children. I am allowing myself to wallow in a little bit of sadness and self pity before I let that go and return to the high road. I know that I will continue to do what needs to be done as I always have. Is it wrong to want it to be easier? I struggle with that. I have recently had the opportunity arise for someone to offer to help support me, help support my kids and I very quickly turned and ran from that. I have to remind myself that that is only a small part of the big picture of what I want for myself and my children. Accepting that would have been an easy solution. I don’t tend to do anything the easy way. I guess having my ex be more financially responsible would have eased my burden and I wouldn’t have to be so fearful of always having to take care of everything. I will have now have to face that fear as it is my reality. I had tied any financial moves to this decision, and now must look hard at the reality. At the same time I don’t want this to limit my belief about wealth/financial opportunity entering into my life in other ways, or make decisions based on lack. I had also tied this decision to moving forward in my romantic life, as symbolically there is now an end to the conflict with my ex. Even though the conflict was financial and regarding the children I still felt like it was holding me back from moving forward into a healthy relationship. I wish him and his new wife, their children, his previous wife and her children, my children, essentially everyone involved, all happiness. I feel a sense of relief, of letting go with that statement. I have thought it before, but I just really feel like I am now at a turning point. All of my actions moving forward must reflect that statement. I will hold myself to that and not let myself get caught up in any petty or negative thoughts or judgments. It is not my place, nor is it healthy or helpful. I want to live in the now, so must let go of the past and be grateful for everything I have currently. I know that in doing this the universe will then manifest all good things into my future. I can and will and want to do this. I know I now have to call my friends and family to tell them the outcome. I will really have to be positive about it as I know they love me and will be disappointed and frustrated and will probably say some very negative things about my ex, the judge and the decision for my benefit. I can’t and won’t get pulled back into the negativity. I have control over this. I accept this as part of my fate. I also realize that it is only one moment, only one step in a long journey and though it seems significant now soon it will be all but forgotten as my attention will be focused then on the current now.



great quote

This quote seems very fitting for this goal:

Do not struggle. Go with the flow of things, and you will find yourself at one with the mysterious unity of the Universe. ~ Chuang Tzu



another stretch

of my comfort zone. My youngest son is away on his first sleepover at a neighbour’s house. He has stayed over at family’s houses and friends’ houses with me or camp, but this is new for him to be at a house where I am not even friends with the parent. He was very excited and wanted to do it so of course I let him. I am excited for him. In my entry about having neighbour kids over I didn’t mention that my youngest son has autism and when we first moved here he had a lot of trouble fitting in with the neighbour kids and they were very mean to him. So, to look back only 3 years and see the same kids want to come into our house to play with him and invite him into theirs to sleep over means so much to me. He has a few issues that concern me for him sleeping over but if he is comfortable then I will be too :)



be carfeul what you wish for

LOL I just got a call that my Mom is coming for an unexpected visit of an undetermined length. Wish me luck that I will be able to be successful with this goal in that situation ;-)



changes are being made

I really like this goal and am doing my best to incorporate this attitude more. Today I was cleaning up the livingroom as usual and my youngest son came in and asked for his friend to come in. My usual response is to say that they can play outside, which was my inital response. After they had left I had another reaction, which was to think that they can play in his room. I went looking for them but couldn’t find them. The next time they came back I told them that yes, his friend could come in and play Wii. Once the small change was made it was so easy. The friend stayed for dinner too. I am sure his mother is at home with her jaw hanging open wondering what happened. I have thought about why I had made the choice before not to have any neighbour kids over and I won’t say that all neighbours will be welcome, but from now on the answer will not be automatically no. My kids could see the monumental change and thanked me profusely. Now don’t get me wrong they go to school and daycare and we have friends over, they are not deprived of socialization, but this is something that has been something they have wanted and that for whatever reasons (that I am not going to get into) I wouldn’t budge on. I am very happy for the changes in my attitude opening up opportunities for my kids as well as myself :)



whitelotus75 has gotten 8 cheers on this goal.

 

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