manage my depression

I think I am going to talk to my therapist about antidepressant medication. Things have been so overwhelming and the mountain seems so high that I’m fine with anything that will make the slope a little more shallow going, for now.

I went to my therapist the other day and was talking to her about how nothing’s really going wrong right now, which is great, but how I feel like in general my “emotional immune system” (as it were) is a little weak—when something bad comes up I have trouble coping with it until it is past. I would like to work on things that make me better able to cope before whatever-the-tragedy-is comes up. A toolbox, as it were.

She really liked the analogy of the toolbox and said she was going to use it in subsequent sessions with other people. As for the actual tools of the toolbox, she suggested starting with ideas for stress reduction and relaxation. I felt a little bit cynical when she said this – I don’t need bubble baths, I need my cognitive viewpoint altered, lady – but after mulling it over a little bit I think she’s got a point. There’s nothing wrong with going after the low-hanging fruit before / or while simultaneously pinpointing where in my perceptions and assumptions I’m overblowing the negative and downplaying the positive. Even if it’s an indirect way of dealing with the issue, I think it might help to make the negative seem a little less daunting and the positive a little more salient.

So: taking time for self, keeping up exercise, enough sleep, reading for fun, maybe getting back into yoga…

Dear self: Get enough sleep. There is a mind-body connection.

I missed my psychiatrist appointment today, I’m so dumb. $20 I didn’t really need to spend on a missed appointment down the drain. :( But I did make myself schedule a new one.