Gummy eugenics.
6 months ago
It’s come to my attention that a significant number of gummy bears have deficiencies and abnormalities. Whether suffering from a common problem like color blindness or the far rarer velocardiofacial syndrome, several gummies in each package are substandard. This cannot be allowed to continue. I’ve taken it upon myself to improve the gummy gene pool by ensuring these imperfect specimens are not allowed to breed.
The forty-three worse offenders have been selected. Each one will be photographed individually to provide evidence of his or her failings before being swiftly dispatched.
All remaining gummies thank them, in advance, for their sacrifice.
