I have found that most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
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Ms. Sunflower of the FLIRTY Plains has written 21 entries about this goal
I’m in the process of reading “Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples” by Harville Hendrix (at the recommendation of Lisa and h.g. ~happiness in this post.) Although the book is written with couples in mind, it’s not a far reach at all to apply the information Hendrix shares to an individual, and so far I have found it very insightful.
I’ve reached the third (and last) section of the book, which is a set of 10 exercises he uses in his therapy and workshops, and which he discusses in the first two sections of the book. Some of the exercises are for each individual (of the couple) to do separately and some are meant to be done jointly, as a couple. Most, if not all, of the joint ones seem easily adaptable to a individual. I’m going to work through the exercises; some I will post on here, some I may not, I’ll decide as I do each one.
The first exercise asks both persons to “write a series of short sentences that describe your personal vision of a deeply satisfying love relationship.” These can include both qualities you already have and those you want to have. They should be positive and present tense (as if you already have them).
I’ve written a list of qualities that describe my personal vision of “Me being truly happy with my life.” As directed by Hendrix, I’ve ranked them in importance – 1, 2 or 3 (with 1 being the most important), and marked with a + sign the ones I feel will be the most difficult to achieve.
1. I have a strong spiritual relationship with God.
1, I have strong, nurturing relationships with family and friends.
1. I find enjoyment in each day and laugh often.
1. I am financially responsible. +
2. I exercise and/or am active several times a week.
2. I eat healthy.
2. I maintain a healthy weight. +
2. I resolve conflict calmly and rationally. +
3, I have an active social and dating life
3. I am organized
Last month I finally made the move and went back to therapy. One of the things I’m working on is my self-image – trying to change my behavior from always picking out the negative bad things about
myself me and focus on the good things. Thus this goal. Today when we were talking about it, my therapist mentioned being my own cheerleader, so I told her how people often comment about my cheerleading tendencies on 43T. She couldn’t have used a better way to express what I need to do, it really struck a chord with me. So from now on I am going to be my own best cheerleader. No more Ms. Self-Doubt. And I’m counting on all of you to remind me when I slip (which I won’t).
“It was easier for me to start the women’s movement than change my own personal life.”
Quirkyalones are people who enjoy being single (but are not opposed to being in a relationship) and prefer being single to dating for the sake of being in a relationship.
Quirkyalone is not anti-love. It is pro-love. It is not anti-dating. It is anti-compulsory dating. We tend to be romantics. We prefer to be single rather than settle. In fact, the core of quirkyalone is the inability to settle. We spend a significant chunk of our lives single because we hold relationships to a high standard.
Are quirkyalones loners? Not necessarily. Quirkyalones often value friendship very highly. We’re often very social people. But we do value occasional solitude. Quirkyalones are often creative and need time alone to allow thoughts to fully form.
How quirkyalone am I?:
Your score was 98. Very quirkyalone:
Relatives may give you quizzical looks, and so may friends, but you know in your heart of hearts that you are following your inner voice. Though you may not be romancing a single person, you are romancing the world. Celebrate your freedom on National Quirkyalone Day, February 14th!
“The problem is never how to get new, innovative thoughts into your mind, but how to get old ones out.”
Dee Hock, founder and former CEO of the VISA credit card association
Your vision for the future is sharper than ever, which might be causing you to feel antsy about how you’re going to get to the next stop on your journey. Don’t worry about having (or lacking) the energy or inspiration you need to move forward—right now, you’ve got enough of what you need to do whatever you need to do. As long as you bring all your conviction to whatever you’re doing, you will be fine. Bravado counts, so don’t be shy about showing your confidence to others.
Eyes closed, I imagine
your sexy smile,
and the way your eyes twinkle
when you call me Flirt.
Click here to read the thread this stemmed from.
So the question is, do I really want to change, or am I just giving it all lip service. Sometimes I really wonder.
Thanks to JJS for reminding me about this quote.
I just took this test that Venus (SGHS) shared on one of her posts. The results are kind of freaky, as are many of these tests, because of it’s accuracy.
If you take the test and want to share, I’d love to hear what you think.
Your Existing Situation
Working to improve her image in the eyes of others in order to obtain their compliance and agreement with her needs and wishes.
Your Stress Sources
Feels that life has far more to offer and that there are still important things to be achieved—that life must be experienced to the fullest. As a result, she pursues her objectives with a fierce intensity that will not let go of things. Becomes deeply involved and runs the risk of being unable to view things with sufficient objectivity, or calmly enough; is therefore in danger of becoming agitated and of exhausting her nervous energy. Cannot leave things alone and feels she can only be at peace when she has finally reached her goal.
Your Restrained Characteristics
Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity but restless and inclined to be emotionally withdrawn, which prevents her from becoming deeply involved.
Feels that things stand in her way, that circumstances are forcing her to compromise and forgo some pleasures for the time being.
Your Desired Objective
Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of experience. Wants to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt, to win, and to live intensely. Likes contacts with others and is enthusiastic by nature. Receptive to anything new, modern, or intriguing; has many interests and wants to expand her fields of activity. Optimistic about the future.
Your Actual Problem
The fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants leads her to play her part with an urgent and hectic intensity. (Edit: or keeps me from trying for it in the first place.)
Ms. Sunflower of the FLIRTY Plains has gotten 304 cheers on this goal.
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