stop Hateing my father even though I know it won't happen.

I don’t really hate my father, i just feel nothing for him or my mum anymore, i more gave up on them than hate them. My mum is trying to make up for leaving me in that house, and letting kevin into our home, but i will never shake those memories from my mind, or the ones being molded in the present. I don’t think she completely understands how much she put me through, but that’s what happens when parents don’t love you. So i’m writing this not to forgive them, but more to forgive myself, i blamed myself for everything that went wrong with my mums life. I won’t make that mistake again.