In a time when people are becoming more preoccupied with themselves and in a greater rush, simple courtesies are getting lost along the way.

1. Thou Shalt Be Thyself.
Good Manners begin with a good sense of self. Unless you are true to yourself, you can never be true to others. You are unique. Don’t try to shape your personality to meet circumstances. Be natural, and the world will respect you for what you are.
2. Thou Shalt Say “Thank You.”
Thanking others is a way of praising them and is one of the keys to having good manners. Send thank-you notes whenever someone does something nice for you, or telephone to express your gratitude. This simple act will help build lasting relationships. When someone gives you a compliment, the best response is a simple “thank you.” And don’t forget “Please,” “Excuse me,” and “You’re welcome,” which are other marks of good manners.
3. Thou Shalt Give Compliments.
A fundamental rule of good manners is to give. Think about what you can give to others, and remember that the most precious gifts cost nothing. When you meet someone, you can always think of a genuine compliment to give. A “Hello” or “How are you?” is not enough. You can also give your undivided attention and interest to others. You can be generous with words of praise, warm greetings, sympathy, love, or other good news.
4. Thou Shalt Not be Boastful, Arrogant or Loud.
Always exercise restraint and good taste. Your voice, your behavior and even your clothing should reflect understated elegance. Only a small person brags about accomplishments; a well-mannered person has no need for self-advertisement. Let your deeds speak for themselves.
5. Thou Shalt Listen Before Speaking.
Respect for others is a prerequisite of good manners. Listening to others is a way to show respect. There is no worse company than a person that does not listen. Be genuinely interested in others; learn their names, and encourage them to talk about themselves. Never interrupt. Look them in the eye, and listen carefully. The listener learns and thereby gains.
6. Thou Shalt Speak with Kindness and Caution.
Before speaking to others, consider what effect your words will have. Pause and weigh your words carefully and say them with a quality of softness. A slip of the tongue can inflict needless hurt. Also, remember the language of the body (your posture and your mannerisms) is as important as the language of words.
7. Thou Shalt Not Criticize or Complain.
A person with good manners is above criticizing others or complaining about circumstances. Negativity is any form is to be avoided. If you hear gossip, don’t join in, be indifferent to it. If you disagree with others, do so respectfully. Don’t verbally attack or condemn them. You may win the argument, but lose a valued friend.
8. Thou Shalt Be Punctual.
Appreciate the value of time, yours and others. If you make an appointment, arrive on time. If you must be late, call first.
Never arrive early for a social engagement; your host may still be getting dressed!
Don’t overstay your welcome. Lingering good-byes merely cause frustration and can ruin an otherwise good time. A quick, simple exit at the proper time is usually appreciated.
9. Thou Shalt Not Embarrass Others.
Treat others as you would like to be treated, and think of how you can put them at ease. The feelings of other people can be as fragile as fine crystal. Never demean anyone with rude jokes or an unwelcome nickname. Be considerate. In conversation, never ask embarrassing questions such as how much was paid for a new item or about matters of th heart. It’s always good manners to think of others first.
10. Thou Shalt Act and Look Your Best.
A gracious friend is never ruffled. Be a calming, happy influence in any stressful situation and maintain your composure. See humor whenever possible. Master self-control and have empathy for others. Always act your best with courtesy and politeness.
Each day dress as if it were your only chance to shine. A smile should top your list of accessories. Your home, car and workplace should reflect your best. They should be tidy, neat and well organized.
Table manners are important. Observe rules of proper conduct, such as not speaking with food in your mouth and not eating until the host has been seated. Eat slowly, enjoying each bite. Savor the moments when good friends, good conversation and good manners bring about the best life has to offer.
Copyright 1987 Larry G. Evans

Excerpt from Talk to The Hand
By Lynne Truss

Of all forms of rudeness, the hardest for a lot of people to understand is the offence against everybody. The once-prevalent idea that, as individuals, we have a relationship with something bigger then ourselves, or bigger than our immediate circle, has become virtually obsolete. For this reason, many people simply cannot see why they shouldn’t chuck their empty burger box out of the car window. They also don’t see any reason to abide by traffic laws unless there is a speed camera advertised. “That’s so selfish!” is a cry that has no judgmental content for such people and little other meaning either. Yes, we have come a long way from Benjamin Rush, in 1786, writing, “Let our pupil be taught that he does not belong to himself, but that he is public property.” These days, of course, the child is taught to believe quite the opposite: that public property, in the natural way of things, belongs to him. The interesting thing is that, cut free from any sense of community, we are miserable and lonely as well as rude. This is an age of social autism, in which people just can’t see the value of imagining their impact on others, and in which responsibility is always conveniently laid at other people’s door. People are trapped in a kind of blind, brute state of materialism. “There is no such thing as society,” Mrs. Thatcher said. Well, there certainly isn’t now. The latest Keep Britain Tidy campaign has thrown up an interesting moral puzzler for traditionalists by targeting the obvious self-interest of teenage litterers. It trades on – well, what else? Oral sex. Ingenious, or what? “While you’re down there …” runs the slogan, over the sort of come-and-get-it-big-boy pictures you normally see on little cards in phone booths before they are removed by the police. The idea is that, while you’re down there, you will also place empty beer cans in the bins provided. I have to report that my reaction to the “While you’re down there …” posters is, to say the least, mixed. I am actually revolted by their cynicism, disgusted by the explicitness, concerned that teenage promiscuity might be a high price to pay for less litter, but on the other hand relieved and pleased that, in a poster aimed at young people, the ellipsis has been used correctly and that there is an apostrophe in the “You’re”. In other words, it actually could have been worse.

x%x!

Manners are based on an ideal of empathy, of imagining the impact of one’s own actions on others. They involve doing something for the sake of other people that is not obligatory and attracts no reward. In the current climate of unrestrained solipsistic and aggressive self-interest, you can equate good manners not only with virtue but with positive heroism.

GOOD ADVICE TO EVERYBODY.

“If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,

Five things observe with care:—

Of whom you speak—to whom you speak,

And how - and when - and where.”

By “Daisy Eyebright”
http://digital.library.upenn.edu/women/eyebright/etiquette/etiquette.html

PREFACE

MEN often speak of good manners as an accomplishment. I speak of them as a duty. What, then, are good manners? Such manners as the usages of society have recognized as being agreeable to men. Such manners as take away rudeness, and remit to the brute creation all coarseness. There are a great many who feel that good manners are effeminate. They have a feeling that rude bluntness is a great deal more manly than good manners. It is a great deal more beastly. But when men are crowded in communities, the art of living together is no small art. How to diminish friction; how to promote ease of intercourse; how to make every part of a man’s life contribute to the welfare and satisfaction of those around him; how to keep down offensive pride; how to banish the rasping of selfishness from the intercourse of men; how to move among men inspired by various and conflictive motives, and yet not have collisions—this is the function of good manners.

Not only is the violation of good manners inexcusable on ordinary grounds, but it is sinful. When, therefore, parents and guardians and teachers would inspire the young with a desire for the manners of good society, it is not to be thought that they are accomplishments which may be accepted or rejected. Every man is bound to observe the laws of politeness. It is the expression of good-will and kindness. It promotes both beauty in the man who possesses it, and happiness in those who are about him. It is a religious duty, and should be a part of religious training.

There is a great deal of contempt expressed for what is called etiquette in society. Now and then there are elements of etiquette which perhaps might well be ridiculed; but in the main there is a just reason for all those customs which come under the head of etiquette. There is a reason which as regard to facility of intercourse. There is a reason in the avoidance of offense. There is a reason in comfort and happiness. And no man can afford to violate these unwritten customs of etiquette who wishes to act as a Christian gentleman.

“There’s nothing in the world like etiquette,

In kingly chambers or imperial halls,

As also at the race and county balls.”

~Byron

I think I might have become somewhat annoying to my younger-ish friends/neighbors…

Whenever we hang out I keep piping up, “You mean… Could you get me a _, PLEASE?”

Now, when someone asks someone to do something for them they have started saying please and thank you. At least when I’m there, anyway. Who knows? Maybe its catching on. (Or maybe I’ll stop being included as much… But that hasn’t happened yet!)