the international hog of mystery in Somewhere Over The Rainbow is doing 23 things including…

overcome my fear of public speaking

19 cheers

 

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the international hog of mystery has written 10 entries about this goal

i think i can consider this goal achieved.

the plan to actively participate in class discussions has paid off.
last night we had our second group presentation, and i introduced ours to the group and also discussed my contribution to the project.

i didn’t flinch (well, perhaps once or twice), and i remember that i conducted the introduction with grace and style. i actually excelled my own expectations.

well, i was on beta blockers, but who cares? if only my liver didn’t mind, i’d form a happy long-term relationship with the medication…



there's a movement.

i don’t think i’ll b going to the toastmasters again for a while. i just don’t feel good about the environment for now. the trauma the toastmasters experience brought me just isn’t worth it, i think.

i’ve found another way. i’ll actively participate in the media relations course that i’m taking right now, and that should do for a nice replacement of the ‘table topics’ toastmasters challenge.

this way i’ll kill two birds with one stone: i’ll practice impromptu short speeches, and also i’ll contribute towards my class participation mark.

everybody wins!

so far, after two classes, i’ve noticed that i feel comfortable contributing to the general discussion, and that’s a good start.



tonight

i’m back to the toastmasters group again, after a longish while.

tonight i must make sure i take my beta blockers in time and PREVAIL!!! (not a biggie :P)

oh man, my tummy tumbles when i think about getting up and speaking there…



no progress to report.

but ‘i’ll b back!’ as arnold said.

just give me time. i’ve already arranged for a mentor, a nice lady who also happens to b a designer.
this should b fun, i just don’t feel up to it at the moment.



it's a never-ending battle

tonight at toastmasters – one table topic and introduction of toastmaster.

the first one was semi-failure, as in mid-speech my mind went blank. i recovered though. those failures are good xperiences too, as i get used to them. the prospect of an upcoming failure is no longer as terrifying, therefore i feel more comfortable, and logically, the success rate should increase slowly.

the intro to toastmaster was quite good. i enjoyed it too.

i’ll b participating 2x at each toastmasters meeting from now on. i’ve noticed that the first time warms me up, and the second participation is far better.

slowly but surely, i will succeed.



just 'practising' my beta-blocked self

interesting. i don’t know if the beta blocker is working or not, as i’m prasticing my presentation portion.

the tip of my tonque went numb when i crushed the pill and swallowed half of it.

interesting.



beta-blockers

are what i needed all along!

welcome to the bright new world, where all u need to b happy is prozac, and all u need to b confident in front of crowds are beta-blockers (not to b confused with beta-testers).

i got a prescription for a beta-blocker to get me through a series of upcoming presentations. i just need to take a pill (or only half of one), about an hour before the presentation, and apparently all physical symptoms of my public speaking anxiety will b gone.

the funny thing is that the doctor asked me to ‘practice’ feeling the pill having an effect on me. i’ll take one over the weekend at home i guess. perhaps i’ll try to make a presentation for myself at the same time. could b interesting.

apparently the pills can lower your blood pressure to the point where you pass out, so i need to know the specific response of my body.

although, on second thought, i wouldn’t mind passing out in class during a presentation. at least it would b all over instantly. and a boring class would go through like a breeze for me.

but then again, it wouldn’t b so much fun for the others.

i’ll try and not pass out for the benefit of the rest of the class.

i’m not on any medication whatsoever, prozac or such included, and anti-depressants can be evil, i suspect… people give up too easily.



interesting sensation.

pre-presentation night at school last night – i volunteered to present our group’s project to the group, not like any of the other girls would do it anyway…

interesting how i get this physical sensation like pressure in the room rises; it feels like my head is going to implode, i hear the subtlest buzzing inside… and it feels like i’m on the verge of a total flunk, and almost like i stop myself from getting it done well. but it’s just a stupid pre-presentation only…

i think i may suffer from stage fright.
anywhere else i’m irrepressible.

is there something i can do for stage fright?



school

i’m in a part-time marketing communications program, and there will be two presentations at the end of november. i need to b out there and with nonchalant confidence unveil the promotional strategy in front of ‘board of directors’.

i feel sick when i think about that moment, but I MUST PREVAIL.
no way out.

i will make it.



toastmasters international is the answer!

i’m already a member, participating actively in each meeting, but being out there and making something up on the spot still feels like a near-death experience.

but i know i’ll get over it. all i need is time and practice. and a lot of determination, but that i was born with.

:)



the international hog of mystery has gotten 19 cheers on this goal.

 

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