become a paramedic

Well, I’m 3/4 of the way through with my paramedic class. Our last day is at the end of August. And I just don’t feel ready. The closer I get to that day, the more scared I become that I will not do the right thing on the truck. We are half way through with the Cardiac Ch., which is (for almost everyone) the hardest of all, and it is horrible. I am STRESSED to the max. I can’t remember all the things I’m supposed to about the drugs. I just want to bust out crying sometimes because I feel like I’m not going to be prepared. And I rarely ever cry. I mean, how do they do it? How do they remember every little thing? I guess I’ve just got to apply myself more now than ever. It’s got to get better than this, if I just stick with it, right? My average has dropped to a 92, and I know it’s not bad, but I feel like I can do so much better than that.
I can say one thing though, I think I’ve pretty much got the rhythm interpretation down pat. I just need to learn those damn tx’s now.

Not to sound morbid or anything, but from the experience point of view, I had some awesome calls the past few days. Friday night: full blown anaphylactic shock from wasp stings, Sat. night: Total CHF, her 02 SAT would not come up no matter what we did so we had to give 2 single dose vials of lasix, and Monday night: GSW 2 pts, it was BAD, but they both survived, I think. During the GSW, the paramedic was like “call into the hosp. and tell em what we have.” I was like oh shit.. So, I started calling it in, and mind you this was the 1st time ever that I had to tell them about the IV’s and monitor and meds and all that stuff, so I know my voice was hectic sounding, not to mention I didn’t know any info on the guy. I was looking at her glove for age and bp, the monitor for the pulse and rhythm. Anyway, the paramedic finished it for me so it would sound a lil more organized :D But all in all, it was a great 1st time experience, and something I can learn from. Man, I love EMS.

Well, the end of the second semester ended today! One more down! We also got our averages back and I have a 96, I was so excited! It was the highest in the class. WOO HOO!! Everyone else in my class is doing great as well, at least an 80 or above. And I am so glad b/c I like everyone in there, and would hate to see anybody quit or get booted. We start scenarios now, it’s gonna get harder. And I’m gonna buckle down and start studying more. I’ll tell ya what though, those damn DRUGS ARE KILLING ME !!! I wish there was an easier way to learn them. :( Next ones we get I’m gonna try to make a game out of them, like Jeopardy or something. I’ll try anything, b/c failing is not an option.

I want to become a paramedic because life is too valuable to just let it go. I love being alive. I may not be the richest or prettiest or fittest person in the world, but my life is special. I couldn’t imagine not being able to ever speak another word, or to never be able to see and feel a beautiful day. I want to be a paramedic, because if I can help save someone’s life, then maybe they could see how special their life is too. Maybe they just made a bad mistake by taking all those pills, or cutting themselves. But tommorrow, when they wake up, they will appreciate … just being here. Being alive.