be more feminine

I’m starting to spend more time taking care of myself. And it is about time. I waxed my lip and eyebrows, DON’T EVER DO THAT!!! IT HURTS SO BAD! But afterward, it makes your skin feel really soft. I painted my toenails red, and although I’m always in swat boots, it still makes me feel good. I’ve been wearing body spray about everyday. Umm, what else? Oh yeah, I’ve still been fixing my hair so it’s a little more presentable to society :D I’ve also been trying to work on my posture. People have always said to pretend there is a stack of books on your head, so I’ve been doing that, when I can remember. I’m kinda proud of myself. Hell yea :) I think when this becomes a habit, other goals will become easier to fulfill. There is one thing I will NOT do… Wear makeup everyday! I’m too pretty for that! Plus, I’ve noticed that when you see someone everyday who wears makeup, then see them without it, you’re like, damn what happened to her. Yeah.. I don’t wanna be one of those ppl.

Well, I’ve made a couple of accomplishments on this task. Today, I went out and bought some fingernail polish (orange and red), a new bra, and damn that felt so good b/c I was in dire need, and some Veet hair removal stuff… Haven’t ever tried that before, hope it doesn’t burn like crazy like that Nair stuff does. lol And I trimmed my hair a lil bit, and kinda fixed it up. I feel kinda pretty today :D So far, so good.

I try to be feminine, I really do. But it just don’t seem to work with me. I love to dress up, and feel good when I do it. But everytime I do, everyone ALWAYS makes a big deal out of it. I mean, I like compliments, but I don’t like attention… so it’s kinda weird. I grew up with all boys, except for my sister. And for some reason, she turned out girly and I didn’t… explain that! I can’t seem to get the hang of ‘fixing’ my hair every morning. It gets in the way when I wear it down, not to mention, it’s hot! It just seems easier to throw it up in a ball, and get it over with. I also bite my nails, which is a really bad habit that I’ve had since I was little. Maybe I’ll start trying to start making small changes now, the only thing is, I don’t even know where to begin.