i want to stop cutting

i started cutting years ago.probably around five or six.im not proud of it nor the scars left behind.my friend whos like a brother(and we call eachoher brother and sister) tries to help me stop but i dont.most people around me i hide it from cuz they dont uderstand.its an addiction as much as any drug and ive foubnd as time goes by i do it more and more sometimes without much reason just habit.its even put me in the hospital before.right now im trying to recover from anorexia and quit drugs while living with an uncle who hurts me…i have several mental issues and im 14…..its gotten to the point i cut everyday and the worse my day was the more and deeper i cut.i would be dead right now but my brother always stops me…im trying to fix myself somewhat for him and my boyfriend.i dont care bout me.im worthles useless stupid and unwanted.wether i hurt or harm myself or kill myself or die doesnt matter.im not doing it for me im doing it for my bf and brother truth is ive told myself i can start eating stop drugs and stop self gharm whenever i wanted…i just didnt want to..but i knew inside the real reason is im afraid.im afraid to let go afraid to eat afraid to leave the drugs behind and stop hurting myself.im afraid to try…im afraid i cant even live one day eating and without drugs or cutting….when it came right down to it..i found i couldnt just stop when i wanted…i wasnt in control…now i want to be back in control..im scared..but i dont like hurting my f and brother….