get him back

Everything was going okay… and then I mess up, again! I hate myself so much right now :(

What is fucking wrong with me? Why do I drive away the one good thing in my life??

_{If you’re reading this… I really do love you, and I am SO sorry about what’s happened. I hope you’re ok. I’m really worried about you :(}

So, me and my (now ex) boyfriend had been having a bit of a rough time the last few weeks. On Saturday, we had a long chat and managed to sort a few things out…. but, being the idiot that I am, I just went and screwed everything up within the next couple of days. He now doesn’t think I love him, or even think about him that much! Sure, I’ve made some dumb mistakes, but they don’t mean that I don’t love him, because I do, I really do love him with all my heart :(

The thing with me is that I don’t think before I do stuff. I’m a bit self absorbed at times, but who isn’t? I try not to be, I try to make people happy but somehow it all ends up going wrong!

On Tuesday, he broke up with me. I tried, and I tried to talk him round but I couldn’t. Not only did he finish our relationship, but he’s decided he wants nothing more to do with me. He’s deleted his email account, and changed his phone numbers so that I can’t contact him.

I honestly don’t know if this goal is achievable, but I can’t give up on him. I can’t give up on us… I love him and miss him so much. I feel so unbearably empty, I don’t think I can live without him :(