be more considerate of others

I unwittingly hurt people I care about. I’m an idiot…

I’m selfish.
I fuck everything up.
I’m wrapped up in my own stupid little world.
It’s just take, take, take with me. Don’t expect to get anything in return.

Why don’t I just give up on this? I’m a pathetic self centred little bitch and I quite clearly am never going to change. And now he’s gone there’s no point even trying…

_{I so don’t want to be here anymore :’(}

well, I guess I was… I am… but yesterday I slipped up.

Without going into details, it wasn’t anything major, but I still feel bad about it :(

*sigh*

stop being so thoughtless and inconsiderate – but I don’t know how to change. I don’t even mean to hurt people, and I do try not to… but sometimes I let my guard down, and then do something that upsets someone without me even realising it. I find it so difficult to think about the way every single thing I do will effect others. I don’t know, maybe it’s impossible.

I just want to make the people I love happy, but I always end up doing the opposite :(

Why do I act so inconsiderately at times? I hurt the people who I love without even realising it. I’ve hurt my parents before and they’ve always forgiven me, they’ve always got over it, but now I’m realising that not everyone does. I just act without thinking of the consequences, the effect it’s going to have on others, or the way people are going to interpret my actions and then I expect them to get over it and treat me normally just like that.

It’s not normal… maybe I’m a bad person, maybe I have a twisted sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. I just don’t know anymore…

Why can’t I get anything right? Why do I ruin EVERYTHING?! :(