stay in love

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  Don’t wait, express your love right now!
  Don’t worry, be happy
  Don’t gloat when you are right
  Don’t sulk when you don’t get your way
  Don’t make the same mistake twice
  Don’t spend your prime time watching TV
  Don’t interrupt when she/he is talking
  Don’t take one another for granted
  Don’t hold grudges
  Don’t let your mind wander during conversations
  Don’t wait for your partner to read your mind
  Don’t be judgemental
  Don’t leave lovemaking until just before sleeping
  Don’t make love the same way every time
  Don’t be afraid to share your feelings
  Don’t try to change your partner

It’s so much easier when you’re starting out. Oh how lovely it is…those first kisses, holding hands under the moonlight, romantic walks on the beach, camping together for the very first time, sharing a bottle of wine, these are all memories I cherish fondly of me and Bri.
4 years down the line though will have you seeing things other than romance however. Fighting, arguing, crying, cursing him out, kicking him out, frustration, geez!!! Sometimes I wonder if it’s all worth it.
But should we expect perfection from our significant others? No. I know I’m not perfect. And relationships take work to make them work. I’m happy where I’m at.
When you’ve been with someone for this long, it takes a little more work to keep things alive! But that’s why we do a lot of things together to bond over, like staying up late at night baking cupcakes from scratch, or like sitting in front of our fire pit on a nice night, talking all hours of the night. Somehow we’re making this work. And we’re doing alright.

sometimes i wonder how much love is worth. how much sacrifice is it worth? i wonder if i am just meant to be alone. giving someone your heart is such a huge risk. and sometimes love is just not enough. in the end, is it even worth it?

As it stands, there is a new battlegound in my relationship with Bri. It’s hard and I honestly don’t know what to do. It’s so hard to leave someone you’ve been with for three years, but, how can I be with someone who constantly lies to me? It makes me so mad and frustrated, I don’t know what to do.

It will be 3 years in May. We love each other so much, I know it. I am planning on doing something special to celebrate Valentine’s Day with him this year. I have to work on V-day, but we can celebrate that Friday or the day before V-day. That’s the thing about a good relationship, you can work anything out!!!Here he is with my kitty.

I love my bri, but our relationship isn’t perfect no matter how much I’d like it to be. It is good, very good, but believe me, we have been under very cloudy skies from time to time. I think this is the case with every relationship.
It’s not good to focus on the bad times, but they have been there. Trust me. He has broken my heart once or twice (a long time ago) and I was in pieces, but I guess we just always ended up together no matter what. A broken heart is the most horrible feeling, I can tell you that. But, sometimes a lonely heart is just as bad.
Even though he is here, I don’t ALWAYS feel he is HERE. I don’t mean that he is a bad boyfriend, and it’s not even his fault, he has TWO jobs right now. A day job AND a night job. I guess I just miss him.

We went camping.
Camping is always nice with Bri. It is what we did on our third date actually. Now two and a half years have passed and we still like camping together.
It was a little cold. But it was nothing a little fire couldn’t help. MMMM…and yummy smores…with some wine. Hot chocolate in the morning. What a terrific weekend. Cozy and all.

We’ve been through so much. After all that has been said & done, we’re still there for each other, in love and all. We’re getting a house in urbana, il. A little three bedroom two bathroom cozy home. We’ve already made a life together, now we’re just taking it there.
We’re still young, but life has made us a little older. And somehow, I’m glad for that.
He is a great person. Besides the fact that he’s always there to cheer me up, he helps me with little things like cleaning up or washing the dishes. He has dreams, like finishing school and being an engineer and going on to law school. This is one of the reasons we have decided to move to urbana. So he can finish school there. The thing is that I have dreams too, and he’s trying to help me achieve those too. I have just gone back to school this year, and he has been there for me to support this.
He helps me at night, studying with me. He helped me financially, to buy my books for school. We go for walks, we watch tv and movies together, we have “our little places” we like to go to for coffee or breakfast, we cook together, we have so much fun. Two years ago we went on a ski trip together (to Big Sky, mo), we went with his school’s ski club…next january we’re going again (but this time to Telluride, co)!!can’t wait!!!
I know i’m being mushy and all but i love this guy and just wanted to take the time out to appreciate him. I’m so glad life brought us together. It was fate but it was meant to be.

It’s true. I hate to admit it but it’s true. Sometimes staying in love is hard, even when somedays you don’t think you could love that person any stronger. But it can be hard if you don’t love yourself. I don’t love myself. And loving him is hard somedays. Somedays I get sad and he’s not always the person I need him to be. Sometimes I think relationships are not even meant for me. Somedays I just want to be a recluse and lock myself indoors. Today I almost wanted to quit my job and I just started two days ago!!! I don’t like my life somedays. I wish I could start over somewhere new. Where nobody knows me.
I just don’t want to let him in anymore. It’s a scary thing when you make one person your entire world.

I wrote this last summer. It sums up what I feel about being with the one you love.

I saw two bums wrapped in each other’s arms while riding the “L” a few hours ago. They used a shaggy blanket for an added layer of security. While some might have stared I simply watched in admiration as they could have cared less about what anyone thought. And I figured they were right. What else matters when you’re with the one you love?

A blues singer sung a song about her baby, her man, the one she loves. The one she would turn General Hospital off for…and then wake up with on her king size bed a few hours later…because her baby, her man, the one she loves, he is the one and only, still is the young and the restless. She sang the blues but she had something to be happy about too.

i luv my Bri <3