Learn to say no

Yesterday I managed to say no to a retail therapy session / trip to buy some new cloths to wear out for dinner. For once there was no tantrums just a please. Normally a please is all it takes but yesterday I held firm.

L looked stunning as usual, she doesn’t need something new to wear every time we go out. We did have a good time the Sun Pilots were great the company even better.

since we are sort of having a slight disagreement.
So how was I conned into chipping in $60 on a jacket? If I actually get to see L wear it, it will be worth it. But WTF? Then again I did have a wonderful afternoon.

and I feel quite OK about doing it, now to suffer the consequences. This stand off is likely to last a few weeks even longer. I think L completely miss-judged my resolve. There was no argument no heated words I said no she said stop the car she got out, the tantrum came when I drove off and didn’t come back(She was only a block away from home and safe enough I wasn’t exactly abandoning her in the middle of nowhere).

I copped an ear full and a few choice messages and have not called today and wont unless asked.

particularly when the person you are saying no to does not take kindly to the no word.

Today I said no it wasnt a big ticket item just some moisturiser, but I said no and stuck to my guns, we even backed down from the Dr Lewinsky’s to a no name moisturiser but I stuck firm!

I think I am getting better at this.

Me and L have not spoken since Friday (somewhat of a record),
L’s silence over the weekend has been explained by her having her bag stolen on Friday and loosing her phone along with her contact numbers (mine included).

Now I am incognito as I am sure she will hit me up for a new phone, makeup, and perfume that she lost and I am not strong enough to say no hence I am avoiding any contact with her. She is going away for a few days from tomorrow so the plan is to wait until she gets back.

L spotted this dress, a Jerry Shaw (what ever that means) she tried it on and looked stunning. It was a bit expensive and I had no trouble saying no.

The only thing is I went back to the shop later and bought it!

Well L was sick with the flu and needed cheering up that’s my excuse for being a push over.

A new jacket with matching bag put a smile on her face it also made my day.

I am still holding out on the car :) but I am still lagging a little with the no word. I thought a change of tact might work, if L would realise that my financial situation was a bit tight she mightn’t ask. So after a sob story about my workers Compensation bill $8,000 my GST for the quarter $13,000 and an expected tax bill of $10,000 or more we go for lunch.

So what did lunch cost me a pair of jeans (to go with the belt we bought last week), 2 pair of shoes, some false nails and a pack of Dr Lewinsky’s facial products. Was it worth it “YES”.

I did go get 2 pair of sunnies cheap ones I didn’t tell her the price but they look fine and she was more than happy.

Saying no is hard. But I did manage to say no to buying a car, well I didn’t actually say no, I said that I am trying to do the right thing by you here and you don’t need a car. I didn’t even get a you suck this time.

I did try to soften the blow by offering to buy a new set of sun glasses, the only ones she liked were Gucci or Dior of course (I should have known better) so I had to say no again. I think $400 for a set of sunnies a bit extravagant so we are still looking!

Lunch cost me a new dress, a pair of pants and 3 tops but it was worth every cent!

Actually I said I would think about it, it wasn’t a definitive no. How gutless am I!

Being in a relationship where you feel you have to say yes all the time or suffer the consequences leaves you feeling used yet I don’t want it to stop.

Usually I feel fine about the yes word, I like saying yes. Being in a position to say yes to everything, pleases me. It gives me great pleasure to say yes and give the people I love what they ask for, so whats the problem? shouldn’t I just give in and say yes this time?