Collect 100 random quotes from everyday life conversations

My boyfriend went to the doctors today because he’s lost a lot of weight for no reason. I was waiting for him outside and he came out looking mortified.

B/f: I feel so violated.
Me: What happened?
B/f: He cupped my testicles.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Later as we were walking home..

Me: Well at least you know you don’t have any wierd lumps down there.
B/f: And that I could never, ever be gay

Granny: “Stephanie with black hair… and such pale skin… she looks like a member of that family off that programme…”

Sister: “Adam’s family?”

Granny: “Yeah. She’s too pale, she looks like she’s about to drop dead any minute.”

Oh well, she’s French. They’re not known for their tact!

“What’s New York got to do with September 11th?” – Said by me, in response to something my boyfriend has said. He hasn’t let me forget it since :S

Chloe: You want to go to India?

Customer: No, Brighton.

Chloe: I’m afraid we don’t sell holidays to Brighton, or Europe for that matter.

Customer: You don’t go to Brighton?

Chloe: We don’t sell holidays in England.

Customer: What about Blackpool?

The general public are stupid, this is but a snippet from the actual conversation that was about 10 minutes long and was pretty much trying to explain to this lady that we didn’t sell holidays to Bogner Regis or any other of her holiday hotspots!