Here is a partial copy of my first screenplay I like to use this format for writing screenplays, this type of formating does not rob as much from the story as a working script and it’s a waist of time, unless you just want to practice formating. First write a good story in this type of format and if you get a Producer interested then you can discuss the terms of a working/shooting or director’s script as the drector will format it his way anyway. Feel Free to use the format, the story and contents are my copyright-optionable
The Sheepherders Wine
AFTERNOON VERY CLOSE SHOT ON SHEEP’S BELL. PULLS TO MOVING CAR DOLLY CLOSE SHOT ON LEAD EWE AND BELL. PULLS BACK TO WIDE ANGLE ON FLOCK. THEN PULLS BACK TO WIDER ANGLE ON FLOCK AND OLD WAGON TRAILER BEING TOWED BY A BEAT UP OLD TRUCK. STATION WAGON ENTERS PASSING THE WAGON AND EASING INTO THE FLOCK. OTHER ANGLES ON DOGS HERDING SHEEP DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD-LATE-AFTERNOON.
A station wagon is passing an old wagon-trailer on a country road. Moving slowly in front of it is a flock of around seventy-five sheep. The station wagon that is being driven by MOM, with her three kids, slowly inches through the flock. The sheep dogs are trying to keep the sheep grouped, nipping at their buds.
Wow mom look at that, c-o-o-l.
Dogs BARKING and sounds of sheep and lambs BAYING. Hooves CLACKING on the hard pavement. Mom SNEEZES and waves attacking flies away from her face.
Pew. . . Those stinky things.
Roll the windows up kids, hurry.
They’ll be at the field tonight.
Wow, look at those dogs.
We FADE OUT on the station wagon driving into the horizon and OPEN the next morning on Joey, who is a six year old boy. He is standing on his porch over looking a dormant alfalfa field. He sees the sheepherder has arrived with his flock and the sheep are grazing peacefully at SUNRISE.
Oh-boy! They’re here.
Joey runs down the steps and skips off to the field toward the sheep. Arriving at a the flock and rickety old wagon that has been converted to a trailer house with rubber tires. The old heap used to be drawn by horses. Now drawn by a beat-up old pick up truck.
The SHEEPHERDER, A.K.A. (FLACO), stands near his flock. He is a short Basque man with rotting teeth. He speaks mainly Portuguese and a little broken English. He greets Joey waving with a smile. The dogs start BARKING and get excited.
O-l-a, como vai voce pequino?
Flaco starts showing off to Joey, whistling at the dogs as he taps his long cane on the ground, giving the dogs commands with whistles and; PORTUGUESE DIALOG TRANSLATED TO ENGLISH SUBTITLE.
Sim, trela, aqui, agora.
The dogs start running around and barking at the sheep. Joey starts CLAPPING AND LAUGHING as the dogs cut a sheep out of the flock and drive the animal straight to the sheepherder who snags it’s hind leg with his long cane. He then holds it down and inspects it’s mouth eyes and ears as the animal resists. (Kicking and trying to escape). The sheep, finally frees itself and runs back to the flock. Flaco tells the dogs to sit.
FLACOBEM, BEM. . . Sitar! BEM.
The dogs and sheep calm down and the sheep begin to graze again peacefully. Flaco ROLLS a cigarette and strikes a match on his cane to light it. As he smokes he begins SINGING an old Basque song as Joey kneels next to the PANTING dogs and starts petting them.
Lunita consinteda, calgado del cielo
com um fala lido, que pueso mieo dios.
Pare que um brada los notches.
Nice doggy, yaaa. . .
Qual es sua nome?
Name, what you name is?
Oh-Joey, Joey Machado. . .
Ah, J-O-E-Y, me FLACO. (offering Joey his hand)
Joey SHAKES Flaco’s hand, Flaco flips his smoke off and invites Joey into his trailer.
FLACO Tu queira tomar vinho? Huh?sim. (Yes) Vamos a meu casa.
Joey shrugs, but follows Flaco. Reaching the steps of the trailer Joey SEES a CARCASS of a freshly butchered sheep laying under the trailer. The FLIES are attacking it and Joey REACTS to it’s ODOR as he swishes fly’s away from his face and starts up the steps of the old wagon. Flaco already inside is still SINGING the old song. Inside the trailer, Flaco pulls out a gallon jug of WINE.
Tu’ queira vinho Joey?
He holds the gallon jug of burgundy up and cocks his head with a big smile.
Hm-hm-hm-hm. . . Ahhh.
Joey smiles back, humming and imitating Flaco. Flaco wipes a couple of glasses out and gives one to Joey. Humming as he pours Joey’s glass full.
Joey thirstily takes a long drink, COUGHING AND SPILLING wine on his Tee shirt.
Ha, ha, ha. . . Tragar Joey.
They both LAUGH as they look down at the stain on his tee shirt. Flaco starts SINGING as he tidies up his house, doing dirty dishes in a BUCKET. Finishing their drinks, Flaco pours another round. Joey is beginning to get drunk. All of the sudden, there’s a loud YELL.
Here we INSERT; MOM STANDING ON THE BACK PORCH YELLING FOR JOEY, THE BREAKING GLASS, REACTIONS OF THE SHEEPHERDER, JOEY SPILLING MORE WINE ON HIMSELF, THE DOGS AND SHEEP AS MOM IS YELLING.
And back to Flaco who is looking at Joey curiously. Mom goes back into the house frustrated because Joey had not responded to her yelling. She enters the kitchen and takes a package of MEAT out from the ice box. Setting it out on the counter. She then goes back outside and YELLS again.
Flaco and Joey look at each other with a wide-eyed expression Joey HICCUPS. Flaco looks out of his door toward the house where the voice is coming from and sees. ZOOM TO; Mom at the top of the steps yelling.
Ah . . . teu mama?
Ya, I’ve got to go.
Joey sets his glass down and goes out the door, FALLING down the steps as he exits, causing a commotion with the sheep and dogs. Flaco looks up toward the heavens with his palms held out as if he were asking for mercy from God.
Flaco hurries down the steps to help Joey off his face.
I’m okay Flaco.
Tudo bem, tudo bem?
Joey stands up and Flaco dusts him off.
Ya I’m okay . . . good-by-Flaco.
Flaco has a worried look as Joey staggers toward the house. The dogs hide their eyes with their paws and whine. Joey laughs along the way home. As he arrives at the foot of the long steps, mom is standing at the top, TAPPING her toe with her arms crossed.
What took so long mister?
Joey stumbles up the steps falling at moms feet. He lays there for a moment. Mom helps him up and SMELLS the wine.
Why, you’ve been drinking. . . Your drunk!
She grabs Joey by the arms and shakes him a bit. Joey is getting sick, trying to turn away to puke.
Why, I can’t believe it. That damned
sheep herder, I’ll fix him!
Resisting mom, Joey pulls away and puts his head through the slats and PUKES off the porch. Mom takes Joey inside, the screen door slams more O.S. yelling, she CLEANS Joey’s face.
That damned Basco I’ll fix him. Now
get your butt up those stairs mister.
Mom storms outside, the screen door SLAMS behind her as she rushes down the steps toward Flaco. Flaco walks around adjusting his hat and tucking in his shirt nervously as he notices the woman approaching his camp. The dogs and sheep are getting nervous too. Joey is looking out through the screen door.
Uh-oh. Poor Flaco.
You idiot. What the hell do you think
your doing getting my son drunk?
Don’t you ever do that again!
The dogs and sheep scurry around as Flaco whimpers like a whipped pup, crumpling his hat in his hand. Mom grabs the hat and HITS Flaco with it a couple of times.
Sim, sim, senhora. Sim, desculpa
senohra. Lo siento muito.
Mom storms back to the house after giving Flaco a tongue lashing. Going up the steps she sees Joey looking out through the screen.
I thought I told you to get your butt
up stairs. I don’t want to see your face
until your father gets home mister.
Joey staggers to the stairs and crawls up to his room.
I can’t believe it.
Mom shakes her head, hiding her smile as Joey crawls up the stairs. Joey crawls into bed to take a nap as we SCAN the room and ZOOM to Flaco’s camp through the bedroom window and FADE to mom in the kitchen with Joey’s brother & Sister FRAN and MARTIN.
MOMFRAN, go up stairs and get Joey.
Were going to the store.
Oh boy, come on MARTIN.
Fran and Martin go upstairs. Fran SHAKES Joey.
Wake up Joey!
Leave me alone!
Come on Joey, we’re going to the store!
Leave me alone. . . I’m sic.
They get Joey up and go downstairs and outside to an old station wagon parked in the yard. They pile in and head for town. The kids are FIDGETING and FIGHTING in the back seat and we SHOOT A CRANE SHOT of the station wagon zooming by. SHOOT/INSERT; RETURN TRIP HOME PAGE 10.
Joe. . . did you fix the screen so that Spare
Ribs can’t get in? I sat out a roast to
defrost. . . If that darned cat eats another
dinner I’ll, I’ll kill the damned thing!
Huh, oh, ya . . . ya I fixed it.
Good! I don’t want that damned cat
messing up another meal!
SPARE RIBS got his name from notoriously getting into the house somehow and eating defrosting meat left out on the counter. Spare Ribs is a repeated offender, guilty of numerous attacks on the family’s dinner.
Entering the store, ROLAND the store owner greets the family with open arms being Joe’s friend of many years.
They all go behind the meat box where Roland takes out a loaf of bologna and sets it on the butcher block cutting slices off for the kids to eat. The kids take a piece and scurry off.
You kids go get yourselves
a pop out of the cooler.
Roland breaks out a bottle of Bourbon and pours a drink for Joe and himself and they talk. Mom finally butts in as she looks at a CLOCK on the wall depicting the time.
Joe are you sure Spare Ribs
is locked out of the house?
Roland looks out to see if any customers are in the store. It’s a slow day.
Sure KATE. . . I think I’ve got
Spare Ribs under control. (Keentroll)
Joe gives the OKAY sign. Kate can see he is enjoying his Bourbon.
She has slight degree of irritation as she starts doing her shopping. Joe and Roland start SINGING.
Cigareets and-a-whiskey and-a-wild
wild women they’ll drive you crazy
they’ll drive you insane.
Kate rolls her eyes and shakes her head as she shops. O.S. in the background they sing JIMMY CRACKCORN next.
WE CUT TO SPARERIBS; in the house, squeezing through a hole in the floor under a washing machine, following the cat into the kitchen. He jumps up onto the counter as we ROLL into a CLOSE SHOT of the cat eating meat on the counter and then we GO TO; Joey who is leaning on a fence watching a man training a fighting rooster on a mound of dirt behind a pickers shack next door to the store. Back and forth the man works the rooster out on the mound. Joey watches, the man doesn’t seem to notice him.
Suddenly in another pickers shack next door down, a mysterious looking man comes out. Joey shyly goes over to the steps of the store and sits down. The man wears a black suit, Fedora hat and wears thick wire rim glasses. He doesn’t seem to notice anyone. In his hand he has a Bible. He drives a big black Buick 1950 or older. Joey watches as the man gets into his car and drives off over the rail road tracks.
Mom completes the shopping and exits the store with the rest of the family, Joey gets up to join the family keeping his eye on the black car disappearing in the horizon.
Good-by Roland, thanks for the soda.
Thanks Roland, now don’t be a stranger,
come by the ranch and visit.
Sure Kate I’ll try to come by
some night this week.
Roland waves good-by from the doorway as they load into the car and drive away.
INSERT; BOOM SHOT OF STATION WAGON RETURNING HOME.
I hope you got that damned cat locked out,
I’ve never seen a cat that could eat so
much, have you?
Ya. . . No . . don’t worry about it honey.
JOE (o.s. day-dreaming)
Arriving at the house they take the groceries up the steps of the porch. Joey notices the sheepherder has moved his trailer and the sheep to another part of the field. Joey runs to the edge of the field.
Don’t even think about it mister!
INSERT; As they enter the house, eaten up roast & Spareribs jumping off the counter and running to the washer were he disappears underneath.
Oh no. . . Spare Ribs ate the
roast again . . . Joe, I thought you
fixed the damned screen!
Joe puts the groceries down on the counter mad as hell.
I did. . . I’ll fix that damned cat.
Joe goes upstairs to the closet and gets a 12-gauge shotgun, going down the stairs, he SHUCKS the gun.
You kids stay in the house!
He goes outside and down the steps where Spare Ribs usually hides out and pokes the shot gun under the stairs.
JOE Get out of there you damned cat. No, no dad, not Spare Ribs! Run Spare Ribsr-u-n. Get back in the house!
The cat runs out from under the stairs and heads for the field. Joe doesn’t really want to shoot the cat but wants to scare it out of the country. Joe takes a drunken aim as we SHOOT A BLURRED ANGLE down the barrel of the shotgun reflecting Joes BLURRED-DRUNKEN VISION. Joe FIRES and accidentally hits the cat. Spare Ribs does an end over flip, gets back up, circles a tree and runs back to the house and underneath the cellar. The cat goes up through a hole under the old washing machine and lays behind it bleeding.
Joey hearing the cat looks behind the washer and finds Spare Ribs there breathing hard and bleeding.
Joey tries to pick the frightened cat up as Joe opens the screen door. The scared cat bolts through the door between Joe’s legs startleing him and he falls, DISCHARGING the shotgun, SHOOTING out the porch light as Spare ribs runs down the stairs and out into the field toward Flaco’s camp.
Run Spare Ribs, run.
Spare Ribs runs straight into Flaco’s camp, causing a commotion with the dogs. Flaco HEARING the dogs and cat from his trailor, goes outside and WHIPS the dogs away with his cane, as they are trying to kill the cat.
Voi em bora! Voi em bora!
Ah, ch-ch-ch- gato es morto. . .
Subduing the dogs, Spare Ribs LAYS there dying. Flaco picks the cat up and takes it into his trailer where he administers first aid, saving the cat’s life.
Tch-tch-tch, Jesus. . .
Gato pobre, es morto. . .
We FADE here on Spare Ribs Laying down on a wool blanket in Flaco’s trailer and OPEN on the Family at the dinner table. Dinner is a shorter version of the roast, but non of the kids have much of an appetite. They pick at their meals a while and GO UP STAIRS to bed and go to sleep.
Flaco can be heard in the distance playing his GAITA (type of bamboo or wooden Flute sounds like Native American fluit). We PAN THE BEDROOM by the sleeping kids and ZOOM OUT through the bedroom window to Flaco playing his Gaita for the sheep as he sits on the steps of his trailer. DISSOLVE on LANTERN and OPEN ON a rooster-CROWING andthen to BILLY who is working on an Alice Chalmers tractor and cultivator. Joey sees Billy from the porch and runs over to the tractor and greets him.
Howdy, what-ya-up-to kid?
Joey climbs onto the tractor and plays with the wheel as if he were driving it.
Billy is adjusting the gauge bar on the rear of the tractor. Joey pulls down on the lever that releases the gauge bar, dropping the plow on Billy’s foot.
Ow. . . You son of a bitch!
Joey, knowing he screwed up jumps off the tractor and Billy THROWS a crescent wrench by him. Joey runs to the house to get Joe as Billy is ranting and raving in pain.
Ow-Ow-oh, you S.O.B.
I aught-ta whip your ass.
Joey runs up the stairs and into the house yelling for Dad.
Dad, Dad! Billy hurt his foot!
Hurry Dad, he’s really hurt!
Joe hurries out to the porch and sees Billy leaning against the cultivator holding his broken foot.
Joey dropped the shank on my foot.
I can’t walk. . . I think it’s broken.
Well, we better get you to the
hospital for an x-ray.
Ow, the son of a bitch hurts like hell.
You better take your boot off.
Your foot is going to swell up.
Ya, good idea.
Joe helps Billy over to the old farm truck and helps him get his boot off. They drive to the hospital. Joey hides and watches as they drive away and then he heads for Flaco’s camp where Flaco and his helper are catching sheep. With his cane, Flaco snags a sheep and throws it over a make shift picket fence hanging it from it’s back legs. His helper holds it while Flaco cuts it’s tail off. He then puts a mixture of tar and antibiotics on the wound to stop the bleeding.
Joey greets Flaco and watches in fascination. Flaco is a little cool toward Joey after the tongue lashing that mom had given him the day before.
Bom dia Joey, como va voce.
Teu madre esta va munto furioso, sim?
Flaco continues to work taking the sheep off the fence and freeing it. The animal runs back to the flock. He orders the dogs to bring him another sheep. He snags it with his cane. He finally finishes his work and calls to Joey. Leading Joey into the trailer he asks Joey about Spareribs.
Joey bem aquei. . .
Joey. . . esta tue gato?
Joey goes over and kneels by the recovering cat and starts to pet him.
Ahh . . . es seu gato.
Eu pensamento el gato esta va a morto!
Spare Ribs. . . Flaco you saved him.
Muito brigado! Thanks Flaco!
WE FADE OUT here on Joey petting the cat and we GO TO the next day. Billy goes by Joe’s house. He starts hopping up the stairs awkwardly, holding his crutches in one hand.
Joey sees Billy struggling to get up the stairs in a full cast and hides behind the couch. Joe hearing the commotion, greets Billy at the door. Billy hobbles in on crutches.
Come on in the kitchen, let’s have
some coffee. How’s it feel?
Hurts like hell Joe.
Joey HIDES behind the couch while Billy sits in the kitchen and has coffee with Joe with O.C.B.S and then we FADE to;
SEQUENCED AND ELAPSED TIME FRAMES of three seasons going by
Live Yankee Delete
May 05, 04:01AM PDT | Edit | Delete | 1 comment
Oct 08, 01:27PM PDT | Edit | Delete | 0 comments
I have to get back on that horse… — 3 days ago
I put a draft together, but it wasn’t so great. My good friend Bill gave me some helpful notes, but I haven’t gone back and done the rewrite yet.
Definitely part of my problem is that I work from home and, I think, I tend to really wear myself out during the workday. Balance is something that I have to work on if I want to get more of my personal projects completed.
Oct 05, 08:59AM PDT Cheer this entry! | 0 comments
Untitled — 4 days ago
I’m making progress!
Oct 03, 04:31PM PDT Cheer this entry! | 0 comments
Finally… — 2 weeks ago
...a college project that i’m actually really enjoying it. Right at this moment i’m finalizing my first script ever.
It was supposed to be a group work, but, people aren’t really witty at my class and i really wanted a witty script, so i made it all by myself. But, i’m not that selfish, i let them do the storyboards and the research for it. =P
Sep 19, 03:32PM PDT Cheer this entry! | 0 comments
another one — 3 weeks ago
too far in the future, and distracting to see every time I log in here and need to refocus on my PhD!
Sep 12, 03:23PM PDT Cheer this entry! | 0 comments
I have no inspiration — 5 weeks ago
Hard to write without inspiration.
Aug 31, 05:39AM PDT Cheer this entry! | 0 comments
Untitled — 5 weeks ago
I have a fear of writing scripts. I don’t actually know the formatting or anything. The story I had in mind is becoming a novella of sorts. More of a novella comprised of scores of flash fiction pieces, all narrated omnisciently in the present tense. It’s a challenge, but this is better. I’m also kind of writing it out of order.
I’m also writing various other things for my writing classes. God, I’m busy with reading and writing.
Aug 29, 06:03PM PDT Cheer this entry! | 0 comments
have started script — 7 weeks ago
so i guess thats something. got passed the first three scenes now im stuck. bugger
Aug 17, 03:18PM PDT Cheer this entry! | 0 comments
Untitled — 7 weeks ago
Some 20-odd pages left then its off to first draft.. yesssssssss
Aug 13, 07:40PM PDT Cheer this entry! | 0 comments
Untitled — 1 month ago
I have the general idea and a few of the characters in my head, as well as a scene or two, so now I just need to further organize my thoughts and start writing.
Aug 13, 12:24AM PDT Cheer this entry! | 0 comments
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