Have 3 kids

When I went to the Dr’s the first time over the bleeding, I had a positive experience and I felt good. Unfortunately, the Dr. was in surgery so I had to see the NP. She stated that she wanted to get the blood test that indicated I was 2 weeks pregnant. The test that they did that day did not indicate that I was pregnant. They took blood for another blood test. The nurse practicioner wanted to compare blood test. She stated that I could do further tested if I had 3 losses. She said “let’s deal with this first”. I relayed that I was anxious to have another one; however, worried about my age (36). She stated that women in their ealy 40’s are having kids. I am definitely not trying for a 3rd baby in my early 40’s. I did feel better when another nurse who was older said that she was going through fertility treatment. She told me that she wanted to see me back in the office to go over lab results. I was just worried that it was an ectopic pregnancy and that It might rupture. She relayed that according to my calculations if I was two weeks pregnant I didn’t have to worry about that. At this point I was already dealing with the fact that I had lost the baby. Baby or no Baby I knew something went wrong. I just had hope that they could investigate further so maybe prevent a few things that may or may not be the cause. I went home and researched testing. Testing that could be done with patients that could have multiple losses.

I went in Tuesday morning to discuss the lab results. I felt fine emotionally but when I left I felt the worst ever. I went in the patient room waiting for her and she got in there and said. “well, their was no implantation. Their was no baby. I don’t know where your at spiritually?” “Do you understand” She went on to say Maybe give your body a rest for a cycle and then down the road you can get testing done.
I said “Can we just get the testing (blood work) done now”. I already knew what they can do because I researched it. Thyroid, progesterone, diseases… ect. she said “Let me see your veins”. Then she went out of the room and came back and said “I talked to the Dr. and she said that your ectopic doesn’t count as a loss and this pregnancy didn’t implant and you have to have 3 losses for the testing to be done. I just said OK then and left.

I was so upset after that. Ok…. so I had 2 miscarriages, 1 ectopic, and 1 non implantation. I just felt like they gave me a slap in the face “Oh your losses do not count- we can’t do anything, get out of the office”

You would think just 2 miscarriages would be enough. I am over it now. I just felt like that the nurse could have been more validating. I have two healthy beautiful children. I will try again. I just want to try to keep my stress to a minimal (LOL), cut out caffeine, and try to get more into Yoga again.

I started bleeding on Sunday :( I have to go in today to see if it’s a another miscarriage or ectopic. I am very thankful that I have 2 healthy children. I just wanted this one so bad. I wish they could tell me the reason this happens. You think being that it is going to be 2010 they would have concrete answers to things like this. Since I already have 2 children, I don’t think they will send me to a specialist to find out what’s going on. We can try one more time but after that I don’t know…. It just would be crazy to keep putting my body through this again. I hope that the Dr. doesn’t discourage me from trying one more time.

Well tonight I took a home pregnancy test and my husband both saw a very very light 2nd line. The test just says “one line is darker than the other.” I am praying to go that this one is not ectopic or results in a miscarriage. I have had two miscarriages and a recent ectopic :( I am praying that I have a healthy baby boy or girl. We are already blessed with one of each. I have always wanted three children. My fingers are crossed and my I’m praying to god.

I am praying that I get pregnant soon and that we have a healthy baby.

Last Tuesday I had the last appointment regarding my ectopic pregnancy. I was cleared to start running and do all normal activity. The doctor said that there was no concern for eruption. This past Saturday I had the worst Saturday. I had a huge headache with being nausiated. I did not get anything done on Saturday. Then Sunday comes and I have severe stomach cramping. I continued to do a little house cleaning. I was ok by the evening time and I am fine now. I am feeling better and looking forward to a productive week. Now all I have to do is wait for my period again to start trying.

Today I went into the ER due to my menstral flow lasting 14 days. I found out that I have a mass in my left ovary. I probably have an ectopic pregnancy. My on-call Dr. explained the risks of an eruption and that I was very lucky that I came in when I did. I got two shots of Methotrexate to kill of the cells in the fallopian tube. I just hope my body gets back to normal soon.

The cycle starts over again.. My husband and I want to start trying for baby #3. I’m excited and nervous at the same time. I want 3 kids; however, it’s not going to be easy. It’s very difficult trying to balance two children let alone 3. I am up for the challenge. I am hoping once they get a little older it will get easier. I am praying that we get pregnant easily and effortlessly. Most of all I pray for another healthy and perfect baby.

Ok… I am trying to get myself mentally prepared for a 3rd baby. I would like to start trying after my 5K in July!!! I want to then continue to work out while I am pregnant. I don’t want to run or work out that hard because I do not want to have another miscarriage.

I want to try for our third baby before the year is over; however, I just want to enjoy my daughter for now and loose a little weight.

August is so beautiful. We feel so blessed. I would like to get pregnant again this year; however, I would like to loose a little weight first. I am praying to god that when we start trying again that I do not have another miscarriage.