1.How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
I would want to be 28. My body feels like it is 40. My face looks like I’m 25.
2.Which is worse, failing or never trying?
3.If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
It’s human nature. We can’t all go around doing whatever we liked any time we liked it. We don’t run on chaos like that. We have obligations, responsibilities, and morals that prevent us from doing that. And that’s just what life is about. Life is about moderation.
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
5.What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
I wish I could make the world fair. I wish good people had good things happen to them, and bad people had bad things happen to them.
6.If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Working with children and traveling. My “dream” was to be an international adoption social worker.
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
I’m settling for what I’m doing, but working towards doing what I believe in. I have done a lot of soul searching the last couple of weeks and I’m making the changes to live the life of my dreams.
8.If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
I wouldn’t waste so much time hoping that other people would live up to their best potential.
9.To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
I feel like a lot of the decisions I have made in my life have been based on the fear that I don’t have control.
10.Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
Doing the right things.
11.You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
I am a person who has always avoided confrontation. I would be very uncomfortable speaking my opinion, and in all actuality would probably just excuse myself and leave. I would definitely not hold them in such high regard.
12.If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
That they are going to get a lot of advice throughout the years, and more likely than not they aren’t going to follow those words. AND THAT’S OK. They wouldn’t be the first person in the world to not follow the advice of others. And they won’t be the last.
13.Would you break the law to save a loved one?
I have and I would again.
14.Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? I wish I could let myself go in such a way, but it’s not in me.
15.What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Talk with God. I feel like I have a unique relationship with God in that I talk to him like I would talk with anybody else. I don’t just save him for the dinner table, church, or bedtime. I talk with Him throughout my day.
16.How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? Because they are mine, based on the sum of my experiences, memories, and feelings.
17.What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
Be a Mommy. Not for lack of trying. My ex husband and I discovered that just because somebody wants to have a baby, doesn’t mean they’re going to. I know there are other options out there (such as adoption), but I’m being held back the rules and guidelines that the governing institutions have put into place as to who can adopt.
18.Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Definitely. I keep telling myself it’s being cruel to be kind, but I’m a selfish bastard and I just don’t want to let go.
19.If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
Been there, done that. Twice. Moved from California to Oregon, and from Oregon to Ohio. I hate living in Ohio and am looking forward to moving again. I haven’t picked an exact place yet, but I have lots of ideas! I wouldn’t mind traveling international either…but I’m scared to do it by myself!
20.Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
I do, and I don’t. I think it’s just out of habit!!
21.Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
No question about it, I would rather be a joyful simpleton!
22.Why are you, you?
I am just me. No more. No less. I am more than the sum of my experiences.
23.Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Not in a very long time.
24.Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
Both are disheartening. I can’t say which is worse.
25.What are you most grateful for?
Perseverance and hope. Without those, I wouldn’t have much.
26.Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
I haven’t had the fortune of knowing a very good life, so I would insist on losing all of my old memories.
27.Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
I think that’s a personal belief. For me, I can know the truth without ever challenging it. I know that the sky is blue. I know that love doesn’t last forever. I don’t have to challenge those to make them truths for me.
28.Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Not that I’m aware of. But in all honesty, my greatest fear is a zombie apocalypse, so that’s not really a fair question. And yes, I’m dead serious.
29.Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
Matter? That depends on how you look at it. Five years ago I was upset because I was having an argument with my brand new husband and knew I had married the wrong man. We’ve since divorced, so I guess it matters in some aspects, but not in others.
30.What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special? Being with my extended family during the holidays. I had a lot of cousins, aunts, and uncles and we were very close. The feeling of belonging, security, and adventure is what makes it so special.
31.At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
I haven’t felt that way in a long time. But I’m trying to get back to it.
32.If not now, then when? Soon.
33.If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Nothing. That’s what makes me so “dangerous” as of lately. I have nothing left to lose.
34.Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
35.Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Because the followers are so unlike the God(s) they claim to follow.
36.Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
No. Because intentions don’t always translate into actions… and sometimes actions don’t reveal intentions.
37.If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? Absolutely. I have dreamed of that for some time, and have it all planned out!
38.Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
More work I actually enjoy doing.
39.Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
A thousand times before.
40.When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
Currently doing just that.
41.If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
Actually, I think I would spend the day in solitude and see who would come to visit me.
42.Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
I don’t desire fame, so this question is beyond absurd to me!
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
That is a question I am in the process of answering myself. Being alive is merely your presence in the world. You, taking up space…breathing…but truly living? That is what life is about!
44.When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
Sometimes you have to just stop thinking. If it feels right, then it probably is!
45.If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
Because we’re fearful that the consequences may be worth more than the rewards.
46.What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? Everything. I do everything that I do based on the thought of being judged. That’s what I’m changing. I’m finally starting to live the life I want to live, free of the fear of being judged.
47.When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
Last night. I am a heavy breather!
48.What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? I love children, nature, peacefulness, simple pleasures, and I am learning to love myself! I proclaim my love of those things every single day.
49.In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
50.Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
A little bit of both. We can’t go through life without allowing some of our decisions to be made for us. It’s the reason we pay taxes, go to jury duty, stop at that red light. Some may argue that it’s our decision to do those things, but I think we’ve really we’ve just decided to allow somebody else to decide for us.