be a good big sister

That’s the next step I think: Not feeling guilty when I have to be the boss. He has a big pride, and he likes to think he’s the boss. But another vital thing is consistency. Needing to be consistent with punishment and sticking to what I say.

As my brother yet again was being a little shit at my grandmother’s house, I just kept getting angrier and angrier. I was stressing out trying not to holler at him and trying to prove to my grandmother that he wasn’t always that bad. Finally I gave up and decided it was time for us to go home. I punished him and made him mad on purpose. I then sat down with him after I’d calmed down. We talk well because I listen to what he says, though he doesn’t always want to listen to me. So I told him I wasn’t listening to him anymore. And I left him on the couch while I got on the computer.. He cried so hard and genuinely it broke my heart, though I know I got my point across. I went back to him and asked if he was ready for me to listen. He blubbered ‘yeahhh..’ I know he felt betrayed by me, but he really did listen afterward. He said his heart told him to be bad. But then I told his heart to be good, and he laughed at that. He wanted to call my grandmother after that and say he was sorry and that he loved her. That was a sweet thing to do, and I really believe my grandmother was surprised and happy that he called. I let him get off punishment and play his video games after that. I’m sure he was just bullshitting me, but at least I’m teaching him the right thing to do. The next step may be to get him to do it all the time.

My brother Jared is three. I’ve basically been the built-in babysitter to my parents ever since he was born… I have fully accepted and even come to love this responsibility, though I sometimes notice how short-tempered I am with him. He’s a little butt head most of the time, but it really doesn’t give me the right to be equally mean to him.

Perhaps I just need to be more creative with how I try to teach him stuff. And patience would make a world of difference. I love him, and I cherish the moments when he realizes he loves me too.