Beat my depression

I heard this at Christmas and it haunts me.
A local vet was injured in Iraq. As a result, he is paralyzed on one side of his body and has short term memory loss. His wife decided she didn’t want to be burdened with caring for him for the rest of his life, and tried to beat him to death in his hospital bed.
It didn’t work, and she was arrested. Now, she had the divorce papers delivered to him in his room. he is not allowed contact with his newborn son, and she refused to give him his possessions, including his purple heart.
Makes my problems seem small.

This may or may not surprise people, but I hate the holidays. I would rather not have to deal with them. Still, it seems like society almost forces you into the situation. That just compounds the misery.

More famous depressives
Sylvia Plath
Jackson Pollack
Edward Munch

I haven’t posted anything in a while because not much has happened. I am definitely not looking forward to Christmas, when our whole sick lot gets together.
I do wish I could figure what the Hell is it with me. I mean, yes. there was likely triggering events and such, but I guess it comes down to Why me?

Tipper Gore—Al Gore’s wife
Mike Wallace—newscaster
Rod Steiger—Actor
Alexander Hamilton—Founding father
Winston Churchill—Prime minister in England during WWII

Been sleeping a lot lately, sometimes up to 14hrs a day,. I am just totally apathetic right now. nothing’s really triggered it, it just happened.
There is no reason for this, I know, but it still feels like I’m being punished for things I have done. Silly, I know. I know enough to know that is a common feeling, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling that.

The depression is back.Spent the last 2 days on the couch/in bed, sleeping and not caring.
Fall is here, and the trees are turning their colors. Beautiful, but I can’t seem to enjoy it. All it makes me think about is that the cold and grey of winter is coming, and of course, the bane of my existence, Christmas.
Gahhh, why is this?
Suicidal thoughts are in my head, although they haven’t really prompted me to do anything. They never really do, but someday…
I fell the depression will take me.

I seem to be in a period of calm and peace. I feel relatively content. Maybe not happiness, but at least I’m not truly depressed. I don’t know if its the lingering effects of by UK trip, (which was fantastic, and could fill a whole new category) or the new meds finally kicking in.
However, I know it will not last. It never does. Eventually, the Black Cloud will comeback with a vengence.

Just to let everyone know, I am taking a trip overseas, to Britain. I was there 20 years ago, and I’ve always wanted to go back. Now is the time. I will be gone until Sept 20. If I get near a computer, I will try to remember to post something.

Been pretty bad the last couple of days. No energy, no appetite. The temperatures being close to 90 doesn’t help.
It just feels like there is no hope sometimes. I have no more purpose in life. I simply exist, and that’s all. Of course this allows thoughts of killing myself in, but I don’t think it will happen.
God I hate this.