find inner peace

These books arrived this afternoon,they are on sale at amazon.cn, so i bought them at a very cheap price. most are about how to deal with oneself, I will read them in short days.

Yesterday I made two wrong decision, one is to eat fish when want to be a vegetarian, and one is out of control to curse someone, this is a bad thing although that one really did something bad. This is a lesson need to remember in deep mind. no matter what others done in future, I shall find correct methods and ways to deal with things instead of saying bad words from my mouth.

Recently I am reading some books about psycology. I want to figure out something about myself, it is said the adults’ personality are related to the experience in Childhood, this aroused my curiosity.If it is a truth, it is great that I have a happy childhood.

I have to say that I didn’t work hard these days, and I didn’t play a lot.
I spent more time sleeping. And hopefully I spent some time reading.
I have no idea that I am fond of sleeping, when the time goes to 9 o’clock every night, I will feel tired and want to close my eyes.
And only until the next morning could I awake. And most of the time I will stay in bed for a while.

SO maybe I have to figure out that what shall I do for this. To manage my time more effectively instead of wasting too much sleeping.
If I don’t feel guilty about this, it is ok, but recently I felt a little guilty because I get panic about my knowledge, I have to study more.

Just Now I read many entries about the goals”Never get married or Never have children.”
As a matter of fact, I am always thinking of these two things, and these bothered me too much.
In old society, most of the women had to follow parents’ order and the matchmakers’ advice, they got married with the person chosen by parents or the matchmakers. and now something changed, there is no matchmaker, parents become to respect the son and daughter’s advice. Although our society developed rapidly, but some old views still exist. Many Chinese parents thought they gave birth to us, their doings are always good for us. They have the right or responsibilities to lead our life, even we have grown old enough. Like my parents, they thought one should get married, unless she or he couldn’t find a person who wants to married with him or her. And if you don’t get married, you will be very lonely when you getting older. when you are sick, there is no one can look after you.
Not only the parents think like that, but also some young people around me. I found that many are married with those whom they do not really love, the basic condition of a family is the ecnomic condition, if they find a suitable person who can provide more better material life,then they get married. they said that man are always like that, when you are in real family life, you will find that love is meaningless, you will be full of other things, you will care love less, maybe you will forget love with the days pass by.
However there are also some people getting married because they love each other.
No matter how they get married,I saw the same result.
In most family, parents care too much about the child, due to the family planning program in China, there should be only one child in each family, then appeared the result, the whole family members pay all attention to the only child, then ,the child was spoiled, parents become tired and complained, because they think: I have spent so much time and energy, include so much money, why the child couldn’t grow so good like I imagine?
They saw child bring-up as an investment.
This is not beneficial for both the parents and the child. When this can be changed?

Now I usually spend 3 or 4 times at the yoga room, more and more I felt calmful. And from that exercise, I know that if you practice pilates first, then yoga, (pilates emphasizes more on the strength, and yoga emphasizes more on the peace.)It is more helpful and effective for the health if I practice them often.
They both pay attention to the breath method, breathe in or out deeply, and now I found that I I am out of the pepperbox, I can deal with things more calmfully.

I am living in mum’s brother’s home, so I meet more things recently. My cousins came to have dinner often and then go back home. I found there are more conflicts between the parents and the sons or daughter-in-law than I can imagine. I thought one was not born to quarrel,but there are. and adults are always thinking they are right, they couldn’t listen to others carefully, or they couldn’t accept others’ explaination, then they quarrel.

To do the things that I have to do, to do the things that I like to do.

I did it alone, when i bought and opened the box, I was suprised by the many small pieces. I felt a little difficult. And some of my friends said that I am a little of babyhood of doing this. Despite of this, I continued. I was so proud of my work when I finished it yesterday evening, It didn’t take me much time, just 3-4 evenings.
From doing this, I found more peace in inner part, To do something alone or to stay alone is very brave. And I become more patient.

After travelling for a week, I found that I can face and deal with more things calmly, some unhappy things are becoming more faint in my memory, they are almost nothing to me. And i can smile more to many different people. Is that a kind of finding inner peace?