Chandler Klebs

I’ve been drinking a lot more water especially since my tooth was extracted. I’m also eating mostly applesauce and tomato soup. I feel good but I’m tired of peeing and pooping all the time!

I think a lot of the same things. I think my reason for wanting kids is to somehow make a kid have the happy childhood that I didn’t.

I feel inferior to everyone else because it seems they can do things better than me. I can’t enjoy them being who they are and I don’t think anyone will want to be around me either. If only I could be someone else so that I could see myself from another’s eyes.

I hardly ever remember names and it bothers me a lot.
Still,most people I never see again anyway so it hasn’t mattered too much.

I am always playing with my belly and talking about hwo fat I am in front of my mom. She thinks I’m strange but is glad I’m enjoying something. Even my boobs are fatter.
I don’t do anything special. I exercise a lot but I’m still getting fatter!

I’m very athletic and walk a lot but somehow my belly got fat. I’m enjoying it and wouldn’t mind it getting a little bigger! I mostly want it to be one solid fat thing instead of rolls and yet be jiggly!

My sister thinks I kinda look like a girl now. It’s awesome. I want it even longer though. At least down to my shoulders.

There really isn’t much to say. Don’t try to masturbate
just to be like others. You will likely feel the need
eventually and when you do,don’t try to stop doing it. It’s one of those things you need like eating and sleeping.

Few things would thrill me more than
getting killed by a spaceship and getting
turned into a girl. Anyone who hasn’t seen Kashimashi really needs to! You can find some good torrents online. The manga is also kind of cool but the anime has a nice opening theme!

Even when I think I came up with something new,I find
out somebody else did it before me. I want to do something that is just me that nobody has ever done before.

I am a man but I had this dream I was breastfeeding.
It was actually the least scary of all my dreams lately.
I want to see if I could do it but of course,I don’t have a baby and probably never will. Still,many men do breastfeed!

My mom is well aware of my dress obsession. Most mom’s
probably would just tell their son to stop pretending to
be a woman or gay. However,she’s awesome. She took an old
sheet and cut holes for my head and arms. She over did the arms a bit though. It was already good,but she gave me a sash and I tied it up in a certain way to the arm holes
to bring them closer together. It really looks like
a dress! Of course,it’s a sheet but it’s good enough.

Particularly what I like about it is how loose it is and
it’s not see through so I don’t have to look at my ugly body!

Definitely worth doing around the house.
Actually,if I had a camera I’d love to record videos of me in this!

Before,I always got a buzz every time it got itchy. I have never had hair down to my shoulders. I
wonder how long is long enough though. I suppose it better not be longer than I am tall or I’d trip on it.

I have extremely fast growing hair.
I’ll bet that in a few months it will already be down to my shoulders.

Water is what I drink the most of but I get so busy
that I never notice how dehydrated I am. Also
I hate having to pee! Sometimes I wonder if it does any good at all to drink when it all goes in the toilet!

Every summer I get in great shape but then the long cold winter makes me stay in. Then by next summer I’m feeling
fat and weak again. It would be nice if I could exercise
on the cold and rainy days but it’s impossible and my bones ache so badly. I can’t wait till I get a chance to
go swimming. If I had my way I’d swim every day but I
can only do it when it’s summer and it’s expensive.
I am really jealous of people who have their own pools.
I don’t even have a front or back yard.
I usually go to the creek down the street on nice
days. I get to walk a lot and so my legs are getting pretty strong again.

By most standards,I appear to be in great shape.
I’m 21,thin,and can walk long distances.
I seriously feel so weak right now though.
I lost a lot of muscle from lying around while I had
pneumonia. If I get to swim,I’ll get strong again by the end of summer. Then I’ll be weak by next year after a long winter. I hate this climate. I can’t breath because it’s so humid!

Because I’m not gonna be somebody else!

I haven’t done much coding lately but I used to write
binary counters. I actually think C is the best language
for most things because of how many C compilers there are.
C++ is basically the same but I like how the streams work better.

Of course,anyrhing that I do with C can also be done with
BASH scripting too. However,C code is way more dense
and C compilers can make executables that run very fast.

I used to know a little intel assembly but it’s a pain to work with.

When I think about it,it’s like I’m married to myself.
After all,I’m with myself till death and beyond!

I get along with myself most of the time.
I do everything with myself. Even eating,sleeping,and showering!

When I think about it,I trust myself much more than most
married couples do!

The only thing is,there is no real reason to get legally
married to myself. After all,nobody can separate us as it is!

Does any of this make sense?

I’ve been abused and neglected by many people in my life.
Some things are easier to heal from than others.

However,healing from sexual abuse seems impossible.
After I was sodomized at the age of two,I was never the
same. I sometimes wonder what I would be like if it had never happened. Would I be mentally healthier?
It’s impossible to know now.

I’ve grown up feeling like a homosexual and it wasn’t
even my choice! As a result,I have a great fear of men
including myself. I sometimes think this has something to do with why I hate my own body and pretend I’m a woman.

It takes a lot of guts to post about this online,but if people are going to know me very long,they will find out that I don’t feel like a real man.

Does anybody understand this?

There are many people that I call friends because they
are not my worst enemy,but I really wish that
I had friends I could trust and tell everything.
Actually,I tell just about everything online.
As a result,people think I’m creepy and avoid me.