12th_house

It’s 2:47 AM and I’m up and iritated. I should be asleep, I’m tired, but awake. I was only laying in bed worrying and worrying. That’s crazy so I got up. I like this goal – perhaps it will help me stop worrying. Watching my cats play outside in the backyard this morning made me happy. They are barely six months and have lots of energy. I just started letting them go out so everything is new and exciting to them They are so cute!

After I wrote my entry about sugar, I took my 3 year old son to McDonalds…I had promised him last night. I ordered two breakfast egg and cheese biscuits. Oh were they tasty, fluffy, buttery, just right – every bite was heaven (I had even added some of MC’s strawberry jam on top) and….full of refined sugar. What was I thinking…how did this happen? I remember telling myself that I had to take my son to MC’s because I told him I would..then as we got out the car I told myself it was just for him. However, once we were inside the smells were so tempting. The breakfast biscuits were on special 2 for $2.50. I can’t let the other go to waste I thought (clearly the devil speaking) and it’d be mean to make my son eat all by himself. There I had convinced myself that I HAD TO eat one of those biscuits. I didn’t think again until I left the restuarant.

This incident reminded me that I am not only changing my health, but my son’s as well. He’s three and loves sugar like his mommy and much of that is my fault through example. He of course eats what I eat and cook. So the less sugar in the house and the less fast food the healthier we’ll both be.

I love sugar. All kinds: pies, cakes, cookies, candy bars, and in the form of bread, pasta, jelly, and syrup. The taste of it can (for a short time) erase any fears or saddness that I may be experiencing. It taken me awhile to realize this, but once I did – it made me want to quit sugar. I’ve never been a fan of addictions. I guess I feel they take away from highest potential by providing short term solutions to real issues that need to be acknowledged and dealt with by me. I found that eating nuts reduce my craving to sugar. My favorites are pistashios and almonds. I’ve been trying to give up sugar for a year now, which is how I know I’m really addicted. The longest I’ve gone was for two weeks. During this time I actually lost 10 pounds without any additional exercise. That also says alot to me about what sugar does to one’s health.